Looked in his wallet

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Looked in his wallet
12
Mon, 08-30-2004 - 1:20pm
I recently looked in my boyfreinds wallet. I used his car and it was there so I

did. There have been some issues to make me think (paronoid) that some

things are strange. Like in crowds of people he doesn't introduce me or

he is leaving me and leaves me sitting for 10-30 minutes.

, I haven't done this before & no it's not a good thing to do. We are living together most of the time. When is son is with him he is at his house.

I found 2 phone numbers. I didn't know one of the names. It just said Judy.

I knew the other women. She has had a reputation and I freaked to see it.

I took the number out of his wallet and did not say anything about it.

I left the other girls no. it did not look like busines. It was on a

little pink piece of paper.

What should I do, I don't want to say I looked in his wallet. I do not want

to say anything. If he realizes it is gone he will either think he lost it,

I have it or he left it somewhere. I think it would make him nervous.

Should I make him sweat or what??

THe other girl Judy, I was thinking of asking him if he has a sister named

Judy or I found a piece of pink paper on the floor of his care and stuck it in his wallet. I would like to know the truth but I will probably never find out.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 08-31-2004 - 3:02pm
I am very sorry to hear about the loss of your daughter. I've heard it said that there is no worse grief than the death of one's child. That kind of incomparable sorrow may be causing you to cling to any available source of comfort, and make you feel that you must ignore the signs that your BF is deceitful and cheating on you. Perhaps you fear that if you confronted him, you would lose him entirely. You are dealing with the worst kind of loss and the thought of adding another is overwhelming to you.

It is strange that you don't know his family. That and his other behaviors indicate he is not including you fully in his life, and even worse hiding facets of his life from you, in addition to the good chance he is cheating.

I think you're in this relationship for reasons that don't have much to do with him being the man you want. It's more likely he's a lifeboat you grabbed when your ship went down. The problem is that this lifeboat has too many leaks and you are in danger of drowning when it finally sinks.

I urge you to join a grief support group, a support group of parents who've lost children. You need to be with people who understand your sorrow, people you can talk to openly, and provide what you really need right now. That and individual counseling will help you make better choices in the men you date, and enable you resist staying in a relationship that hurts you. Best wishes to you.


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2004
Wed, 09-01-2004 - 12:45pm
I have thought about this all along, I did think he was sent (I

really changed after this happened). to comfort me.

He does include me with his 12 year old son. I can go to his

house anytime even if he is not there (maybe because I can cook

I've wondered).

We had a misunderstanding, I call it a misunderstanding (I can't get

into it right now) He was upset because I was pissed, he called

and said I was his best friend that he ever had. I genuinely think

he was sincere.

I thank you for your candor.

I don't know if Thanksgiving (spent w/me last year) is too long to

wait on to see if I get a intro at Christmass.

I have to go for now. I do see a doctor and have gone to support

groups. At this time I haven't found one that clicks.

I do have a appt with a therapist next week hoping to clear up

something.

Pinkflower

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