Looking for a No-Cost Support Group
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| Mon, 04-28-2008 - 11:53am |
I live in Fremont CA, USA.
My problems is that I have control issues according to a book I read, "The Surrendered Single" by Laura Doyle.
I am single now b/c I broke up with my last boyfriend 6 months ago. Right now I cannot seem to do healthy dating. I never had. I had sex with this guy on the 1st date, b/c I just wanted to have fun. I have sex with my ex boyfriend and want nothing to do with him (commitment wise).
According to this book, I have a fear of being vulnerable so I take control by choosing to be physically involved than emotionally vulnerable.
I think my problem stems from my mother. My father had 8 affairs on her from the day I was born up to age 10. She is still with my father, b/c of financial reasons, and she "has a leash" on my dad now (I am 23 years old moved out of the house) and when I come home I see her barking orders to my father and my father obeys like he is her slave (it is like he owes her his life b/c of what he did to her - cheat on her) But quiet frankly, I think she deserved it! Even my brother agreed, because she was THAT difficult to live with. I am not even sure I love my mom?
Back when I was with my boyfriend, I was very jealous, and insecure...I hated that! It felt like I was weak!!!!! I don't want to do that again.
I am 23 years old and have a unhealthy mindset on relationships (for now) but I intend to work threw my issues and by age 26 do the things I want to do - the things that are good for me.
I want to meet a smart, respectful, good looking guy, fun, and committable, and guess what?? I do not intend to want to or expected to have sex on the 1st date!!! I want to be honored and respected for who I am and not how good/bad I am at sex until I am committed to exclusively!

Welcome to the board invincible_angel,
It is good that you seem to know what your problems are and what you want for your future. That is the first step to making everything happen. Your title said you were looking for a no-cost support group if you want one if real life I suggest you ask your local YWCA if they have any.
Best of luck to you.
glitter-graphics.com
glitter-graphics.com
I would google codependency and see if you identify.
I am scared to go to a CODA support group. I don't know what to expect. I did in fact google CODA and found a place near my city and that I can attend. But I am scared of if it is not something for me, yet I am very eggered to attend the meeting. I called the lady that is involved with the CODA and she never got back to me.
I am very eggered to go because I really want to change my life and mentality towards relationships around. I want to have a healthy relationship in the future. I am 23 years old and do not want to be sleeping around without commitmentting by the time I am 26.
What do you think I should work on when I do go to the CODA group? What kinds of questions should I ask?
You don't ask questions at a CODA meeting--or at least I'm assuming you don't because it's modeled on AA and most 12 step meetings work the same way.