LOST AND CONFUSED
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LOST AND CONFUSED
| Wed, 04-14-2004 - 11:42am |
I HAVEN'T TALKED TO MY EX-BOYFRIEND IN THREE WEEKS NOW,BECAUSE HE STOLE SOME THINGS OUT OF MY HOUSE,BASICALLY TO SUPPORT HIS DRUG HABIT. ANY WAY I TOLD HIM I KNEW HE DID IT,HE EVEN TRIED TO DO THE REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY THING ON ME (TRYING TO SAY I WAS WRONG FOR ACCUSING HIM OF THIS ETC, HE DON'T NEED ME FOR ANYTHING ETC.),SO HAVE BEEN IGNORING HIS CALLS. HE ONLY CALLS ON WEEKENDS, NOT DURING THE WEEK. I HAVE ACCEPTED HIM BACK 3 TIMES WHEN WE HAD PROBLEMS BEFORE AFTER HE DONE BEGGED FOR DAYS AND WEEKS. AND MY MOM TOLD ME THAT HE'S JUST TRYING TO LET ME COOL OFF FOR AWHILE (BECAUSE HE KNOW THAT I KNOW HE STOLE MY STUFF)THEN HE'S GOING TO TRY TO COME BACK INCH BY INCH BECAUSE HE KNOW I HAVE FORGAVE HIM SO MANY TIMES FOR PAST PROBLEMS WE HAD. DO ANY ONE HAVE ANY ADVICE? AND IS MY MOM RIGHT?

This guy is a user. He will do or say anything to be 'right' to keep things as they are, to continue to take advantage of you. You can't talk to a drug (habit). If he's doing drugs, you are trying to talk to him through that drug and that drug isn't listening.
I think you should figure out why you are holding on to someone like this. Do NOT tell me you love him, k? Love is about respect, admiration, caring, sharing, loving, being kind, being supportive, I could go on, but I won't. Someone that loves you back, wouldn't lie to you, steal from you or cheat on you. So this guy has no integirty and is dishonest. If you accept that in your life, then you are telling the Universe that you are ok with this treatment. You have to value you more than you do currently. So, work on your self-esteem, set some boundaries. Know you can't save him or change him - you can't love him enough to change/save him, you can't give him enough sex to make him love you back, change him or save him from himself or his habit.
Please get help. Reading material to consider:
How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon
The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen
The Magic of Thinking Big, David J. Schwartz
Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse
Self Matters, Phil McGraw
Carrie