lost that lovin feelin...and stuck.
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lost that lovin feelin...and stuck.
| Sat, 10-09-2004 - 1:34pm |
i've got a huge problem. i live with my boyfriend of 2 years and since then, i've lost interest and am not attracted to him anymore. he is unable to please me in bed, and i'm becoming more and more frustrated and irritable.i don't want this to continue to drag on, i don't want to hurt him anymore. i'm unhappy and want out,but i fear i am co-dependent and can't leave. sometimes i wonder how i got myself into this mess and think of ways to get out, but nothing. also, i'm going to school in a certificate program that he's paying for. he pays for everything because i have serious issues with working (i've tried counseling, but couldn't afford it). i care alot about him ,but i need to leave. casn u help?

Does he know your complaints about the relationship? If not, they can't change until he does.
Reading material to consider:
Relationship Rescue by Phil McGraw
A Couple's Guide to Communication, John Mordechai Gottman
His Needs, Her Needs by Dr. Willard F. Harley Jr
Getting the Love You Want, Harville Hendrix
My best to you.
Carrie
I have also been in the same situation as you are in right now, only difference is that i was married to the guy and had 3 small children. Ok, you asked for advice and here it is: You CAN DO IT ON YOUR OWN. I am a firm believer that woman can be strong and function alone without a man. Now when i was in this situation sure i was scared as heck. He was the one who made the money, so i was dependant on him for everything!!! I didn't think i could make it on my own, mentally and financially, but guess what? I did it, and i left him. Firt of all, it's not fair to him if your hearts not in it anymore. And it does make you crabby and hostile when the love is gone. Now, you have 2 choices you can either stay and try to get back the love you once felt for him, if you think that's possible. Or you can leave and tell yourself your strong enough to make it on your own. ( You did survive before you two got together, obviously!! LOL) You can look into scholarships or financial aid to help with your college. There is a way to become self-sufficient trust me i know. And i also was a women who wasn't used to working, I never had to. We owned a trucking company. But i will tell you that for me leaving was the best thing i ever did. And i don't regret it at all and never have. So, Good Luck to you. I am here if you want to talk about this further. Just make sure you have family and friends around for moral support to help you stay strong if you decide to leave, but i believe you can do it if you want it bad enough!!!!!
All the best to you!!!
Dldroca