lost in translation...

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2011
lost in translation...
9
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 11:37am

How does one know when they are dating? I"ve never really known what the tell-tale signs are. Moving on to the bigger question I have: A guy I was dating (pretty sure. Also the only guy), at first talked and talked, we shared details of our lives. Then I noticed he wasn't responding when I would talk to him. He had a dazed look, or would look while I was saying something to him then look away. Then after a month and a half he couldn't even speak to me. There were moments when we would exchange conversation. I backed off because I thought I was causing him discomfort. So my question is basically...

What does it mean when he showed extreme interest (beyond what mutual firends had even seen him behave like before) and then his inability to speak. He was very nervous when we did finally talk over a month ago, but he was repeating words and I couldn't tell if he just wanted me away for good or if it meant something else. Please anyone who is a guy or knows guys, respond with what this phenomenon more than likely means.

Thanks

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2007
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 12:02pm
To me it sounds like he is losing interest.How long were/are you dating ?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2005
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 2:42pm

I think it could be two things, I'm a little unclear with your statement so I'll say both. First, most obvious and what it sounds like to me is as the previous reply said, he's lost interest.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Sat, 10-01-2011 - 6:05pm

Hon, every new guy is wonderful when you start dating!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2011
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 8:43am

Well I have dated before. I am just unaware of what

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-01-2011
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 8:48am

Thank you for your reply however you do not understand the whole story. And how he and I are true cases of rare individuals. He is not on drugs or medication. I am glad you expressed how you see the situation. There is nothing "wrong" with him, the way others respond to me is unlike anyone else could possibly understand the world. We only hugged, nothing more. Talked

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 10:19am

From what I gleam off your writing, it sounded more like temporary co-dependency of two tortured souls rather than dating.

It could also be while it was great to have somebody who understand what he went through (i.e., you), he was not ready to face and deal with his own issues in life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 12:55pm

After reading your response to me and to others, I'm seeing in one way, a typical female who has the ability to make nothing into something.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 1:41pm

It seems that you guys have a freeky unexplored connection and because of past experiences not pursuing it further.OTOH, you 'dated' this guy for just 3 months and if I may ask, how long has it been no contact ?

Its great that you are thinking stuff over but to get result, action needs to be taken.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 10-10-2011 - 4:36pm
You have asked what does it mean when a guy shows “extreme” interest then cannot speak to you (inability to speak).

I find it interesting that you phrased it as his “inability” to speak rather than not wanting to speak to you. You described his behavior as being so nervous that he could not talk with you and freezing. This may or may not be true.

I do not think his behavior is a “guy” behavior. I do think whatever the reason he does not or cannot have any relationship with you. He is geographically separate from you and have not seen each other for 2 months. I do not see any reason to hang on and pretend this is a close or lasting relationship much less a romantic one.

Mark