a lot of time apart, but still feelings
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| Tue, 06-08-2004 - 11:36am |
This is not the typical post, but I think this is the best board for me to get some advice...
I was with my ex-boyfriend for over 4 years. We loved each other more than anything and wanted a life together forever. We were more than best friends - we knew each other better than we knew ourselves. But, we met when we were young - only 18 yrs old. We broke up because we were basically stuck in an immature relationship. We grew older, but our relationship didn't. We fought about things that teenagers would disagree on, not adults. We (but more he) was not able to commit to each other for the rest of our lives at that time.
It has been over a year and a half since we broke up. We're both in our mid-20s now, and suprisingly, have remained pretty close friends. We have both dated other people, but never met each other's significant others. Right now, we are both single.
I find myself thinking about him more and more recently. Not because I'm lonely, but because I'm lonely for HIM. I still love him with all of my heart, and I know he loves me as well. We have tried cutting off contact, but it never lasts because we just click too well to let our friendship go. We have never talked seriously about getting back together, but we do know that if we did, it would be with "forever" in mind.
I am debating having a serious conversation with him about trying us out again, but I'm scared. I'm scared because while we're apart, I know there is always the potential of us working again in the future...what if he doesn't want to try us again? Or what if we try again, and this time lose our relationship and our friendship?
A huge part of me believes that we both truly have grown up and matured, and we would now be ready to truly and fully give ourselves to each other. We both have our own lives, careers, friends, etc., but I think we could mesh into each other's lives again. And deep down, I believe we both want this. If we didn't, wouldn't we have cut off all ties a long time ago?
Anyone care to share their feelings?
