is love a battlefield??

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2007
is love a battlefield??
2
Sat, 06-23-2007 - 12:42pm

its been three weeks since my boyfriend of a year and a half broke up.im first girlfriend. I tihnk that he is immature when he doesnt know how to handle situations he runs from them. mostly meaning that he will distance himself from me,he even has ended the relationship once before for a month and then came back to me realzing how much he cares. This is the second time we have broken up and its been 3 weeks now. We did not keep contact for a week or so, and then after a week he called to ask me a silly question and asked if he could hang out with me n my friend that was with me. After this meeting he started initiating other hang outs of this sort. Then tuesday a bunch of our mutual friends met up to go to the beach and he asked if we could go together. The day of the beach would have also been our year and 7 months together, everything was good we had a good time but towards the end of the day i noticed that he started getting extra sweet, and slowly started flirting wit me again. Naturally i played hard to get, and it seems to fuel him even more. at the end of the night when we were saying goodnight there was a moment with high tensions so i couldnt resist and i gave in and kissed him. he said tonight.

SO the day after he called me b/c he was leaving for vacation. we ended up hanging out b/c he was leaving that night. It felt like a date and by the time dinner had ended he started to flirt with me again. I refused to give in into anything i was feeling. Yesterday he called me to let me know that he got there to the vacation house safely, and he told me he wanted us to keep in touch while he's gone for the 10 days.

well im so sorry that this story is so long but i felt i needed to give a full background on my situation. anyway i feel that he has the intention of getting back together so he started buttering me up before he left for vacation while being single for this trip. i usually would never let myself be in this situation, but i do not know how this guy seems to be on my mind 85 percent of the day. For the first time in my life after being in many long term relationships i find myself jeleous. After a prevoius experience of a similar break-up i thought i would know how to handle things much better by being stronger,and more experienced..but to be honest i am not.

i understand that the break- up was partially my fault for taking him for granted, i could of been more understanding. but my question to all you board viewers is that am i doing the right thing by hanging in there and letting him slowly back into my life? Beacuse, i feel more in love with him now that he's gone then when we were a couple. his best friend called the other day to tell me that he was misberable without me, and that he knows that his friend was stubborn and confused buthe does love me and that we should try to work it out. ( that phone call was a great suprise) Every single love poem, or sappy long song i hear describes exactly how i feel, and yes i know we have broken up before but i am not ready to give up just yet, and i know that he isnt ready either he's just hesistant to do so.




Edited 6/23/2007 7:36 pm ET by jenn_1219
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 5:11pm

Hi jenn_1219,


If you get back together, what happens the next time he pulls the same stuff - running away as a way of dealing with and coping with a situation

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-23-2007
Sun, 07-01-2007 - 7:50pm
i think you are doing the right thing by letting him slowly back into your life. but you should talk to him about how you feel about him pulling away in certain situations. and tell him if we are going to be together we need to be here for one another and re asure him that you r there for him and you don't want him to end the relationship every time he feels that things are getting hard.. feeling jelous is a normal feeling so dont feel you are the only one out there that sometimes feels like that.. well i hope things work out for the best and i hope you guys get back together and i hope he learns to face his problems without running from them and i hope you guys become stronger than ever but keep your head up and keep smiling -jenn aka browneyedbabi