Is love blind?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
Is love blind?
5
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:09am
A bit of background.....We've been dating for 8 months. We've been living together for the past 2 months. Now here comes the part than makes me think that because I love him, I've got my blinders on full-blast!?! When we first started dating, things were fantastic, he's attentive, loving, passionate, caring blah blah blah, all the good stuff. And all those things are still there at the 5 month mark he had a conversation with a female friend that got out of hand and had a sexual aire to it. When confronted he lied at first but then his reply was "It got out of hand but I would never have followed though with anything". Well I take that and ask if there ANYTHING else he has to come clean with....he says "Nope, that's all of it" "I'm honest with you from here on out".

WELL.....All of the sudden the other day he comes out with the fact that he has been married, not the one time that I knew about, but 3 !!! times before. His excuse for not telling me was that he wanted me to get to know the true him instead of judging him on that and turning andf walking.

Here's my question, do ya think he's a general liar?

Am I a sucker for not knowing what to do?

Married 3 times and supposedly the first cheated on him, the 2nd was anulled and the third wife was too young (21) to be in a marriage (all of this is according to him)

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: missarmy
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 10:17am
FYI we're both in our early 30's
Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: missarmy
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 11:49am
Yes, I think he's a liar based on what you've written, but no, I don't think you're a "sucker" for not knowing what to do. It sounds like the two of you moved too fast and now your bf's real character is coming out and you're understandably confused!

I would strongly suggest that you read "When Your Lover is a Liar" by Susan Forward. It will give you a plan for how to proceed, or help in making your decision to end things, if that's what you decide to do.

Sheri

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: missarmy
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 12:18pm

well. i can

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-16-2004
In reply to: missarmy
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 3:27pm
He's reasoning for not saying anything was exactly that...he knew I would have turned on my heels. So now that we're living together, he knows it would be more diffcult for me to do that.

And now says everything is out in the open-- "That it! You know everything there is!"

I guess my situation is : Do I take that for what it is or do I assume that because he's lied once, he'll do it again?

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: missarmy
Sun, 05-16-2004 - 3:58pm
He's lied more than once, according to your original post. And yes, someone whose values say it's ok to lie will almost always continue to do so, unless they change their values (a very difficult process).

Sheri