In Love with ex

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
In Love with ex
4
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 3:57pm
ok.... any advice is appreciated...

I dated a guy for 1.5 yrs... and then i started graduate school last fall... we had a semi stressful relationship with fights that were in part my fault and due to some immaturity and dealing with issues of the past.. in Oct. i broke it off with him.. saying i just needed some space- he had not been working at the time, and i was in a stressful program, not knowing how difficult it would be, i needed to focus on school, and wanted to get to know the people in my program.. At first, all seemed normal with the ex.. talked online, on the phone, etc... but he wouldn't see me.

He finally agreed to see me in Feb.. and now i haven't seen him since.. I told him then how i felt about him.. ie still in love with him, and that i too, didn't need any stress in my life, and thats not how i wanted the relationship to be... he reluctantly said he would see me again, and i asked him to think about things, and he also half heartedly agreed to that...

Since the breakup, we have talked just about every single day online.. usually for an hour if not more.. from what i know, he is not with another girl. I asked him to hang out maybe in may, and he said no, not right now.

I really love him and want to show him i have changed, that we wouldnt go back to fighting, and that he should give me a chance.. he's even said im smarter than any girl he has met.. and continues to joke about my family etc etc.. In his life, however, hes not really sure what he will end up doing, but hopefulyl going to graduate school for something or another..

is there a way to make him wanna see me? or to maybe get him thinkin that things can indeed work out between us?

i just wish i would be given a chance....
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 4:11pm
lemondropbabe...

If you don't PUSH TOO HARD...maybe the EX will eventually realize that he can't be happy without you?

Communication everyday is good...providing it's mutually acceptable. If you're making all the effort to keep the friendship going...you'll probably become very frustrated.

Given the fact that the 2 of you are still working on your education...can't you just enjoy each other "as friends" until you graduate? Once you've knuckled down in your respective careers...perhaps you can work on your personal lives more satisfactorily?

Best of luck!

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2003
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 4:29pm

He loves you...you know that. It sounds like he is reluctant to get back into things for ear that nothing has changed from the last time you were together. You had legit reasons to end things, you didnt want to end up on totally bad terms...but now you have to try to get things back. I think the only wqay you will be able to do this sucessfully is to back off. He doesnt want to see you. For whatever reason, he isnt ready...let that be rigth now. He needs to trust things again, as do you.


**marsexpert**
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Fri, 07-16-2004 - 4:45pm
OK.. thank you for the input..

Pianoguy- being friends would be great, and i wouldnt expect to just jump back into a relationship, however, i can't even see him- so that part kind of sucks, and we barely ever talk on the phone (cept for recently i called him for his bday)

... i know now i will not ask to see him again for a long time.. i'm hoping by oct. he may be interested in seeing me, but i doubt this will be the case..

As for he loves me? well he probably does love me in some way, but that doesn't mean he ever wants to be back with me. ...

I know now its summer and he wants to hang out with his friends and all.. and this is all fine and good. I guess i get worried.. he will meet another girl.. hoook up with other girls etc.. Although from what i know neither of these 2 things have happened. ..

and actually for awhile, he was the one who IMed me a lot, because i would get mad and frustrated etc that he wouldnt see me.. though now it seems i've been keeping up the contact moreso- not sure if this is just because he has been busy with work, needs a break from talking to me, or is playing games so that now i im him..

anyways, i dono, this is how things are..
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2004
Sun, 07-18-2004 - 2:49pm
Anyone else have any input? please???

thanks..

still looking for help.