Is the love gone???

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-04-2003
Is the love gone???
1
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:13am
I'm new here, hope i can get some insight from everyone. I've been married for 11yrs. 2 boys. My feelings for my husband has changed alot since the birth of our last child. I basically don't want him to touch me. ever, I do give in about once a week when I start feeling guilty for rejecting him. I feel bad for him and know that he will feel good for a few days or so, but of course he starts getting all touchy feely and i cant seem to get into it till I feel bad enough and give in. this has been going on for at least 7yrs. I get to the point where i feel if I loved this man as much as he loves me than why am i doing this. He is a good husband and a great father. and he loves me very much. I have a hard time saying "I love you" to him, anymore. I sleep on the couch 98% of the time. partially because he cant lay still at night and because i dont have to feel his hands on me, than I know what he wants. Also, recently i almost had an affair, i thought that i could just fool around but my heart became involved too. Nothing happend because the other person had enough sense to stop it. I told my husband about what almost happened, he is not very happy. I've hurt him a great deal. I told him I want to try to work things out, but I'm not sure I do. I just dont feel the love or desire for him anymore. I thought that I had just stopped wanting sex period. Untill this other man, i felt a whole lot of desire for him. It was so nice to feel that again.

after so many years i just dont know how to get it back????
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 10:45am
It seems that you don't love him and you want out but yoru guilt keeps you there. Either work ont he marriage with a counselor or leave. What are you teaching your children about relationships and how to treat their partners? What will you teach them about infidelity the next time you meet someone who is willing to have an affair?