In love with her versus loving her.
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|Sun, 11-03-2013 - 3:52pm|
My wife and I are close to separation. My head is spinning.
Amongst the discussions we've just had was a statement that she once asked me if I 'loved her or was I in love with her'. I responded that I loved her and the rest would come. I made some progress towards falling in love, but things happened and raised issues. I still believe that there is more I can do in the way of loving her than I presently express, I still believe I can further fall in love with her. She feels that this falling in love isn't hapening, and it is important to her.
Problems are that recent times have been very tough, financially and more to the point, I've had a bad upbringing. I have no familial experience with relationships. My parents split when I was 7, then mom slowly failed (it happens) at single parenting the remaining kids in the home (me and 2 younger siblings; older brother had just moved out). Eventually I was placed in group homes (from 13th birthday until no longer a minor). My family wasn't 'there for me'. At all. I have no familiarity seeing or learning the difference between being in love with someone and loving them. I understand that being in love with someone is a greater love than loving someone, but then, I'm also not loving my wife as I would 'love my neighbor'. I have bought her flowers because I wanted her to have them, I give gifts that express how I feel.
Give a guy a clue?