Love him but he's getting fat!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2003
Love him but he's getting fat!
2
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 4:10pm
My 33 yr. old boyfriend of a little over a year has a bad habit of laziness, which isn't new admittedly, but he's letting it dramatically affect his health now and his tummy is getting huge! I've expressed nicely my concern not only about his health but about his own insecurity about his looks and he'll say the typical "yea, I need to start working out" but I've yet to see his words become actions. Any advice to offer? I have no problem with him thickening with age, that's natural, but he's still young and this is plain and simple lazy fat. I'm naturally thin (but could do for some toning myself) yet when I do exercise (indoor or outdoor) I've never been successful at getting him to join me. He works on computers for a living and plays on computers for enjoyment... he's not a couch potatoe, he's a techy potatoe. His eating habits are terrible to boot. I don't want to become unattracted to him and I don't want him to harm himself health-wise. Help!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Sun, 04-25-2004 - 4:28pm
You can't change him or make him want to work out. The more you push the more he may hold back. You might want to try exercising yourself, cooking healthy and basically being an example without saying a word. He will notice the difference and you can show your satisfaction and results without rubbing it in. You know that you have to motivate yourself. And he has to do the same.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Mon, 04-26-2004 - 2:29pm
Make an appt (away from the computer) to talk to him. Tell him, I need to talk to you, come go for a walk with me (ok, today's not good? Tomorrow then, right after work.) And express your concerns.... start as many sentences with the word "I" and avoid using "you" if possible as it will put him on the defense.

I really want to find an actitity we can do together for better health and spending time together. Will you help me find one we can both agree upon?

Do you live together? Or does he 'cook' for himself?

Something else to think about - self-image is part of it, but could depression play a role or avoidance behavior, or compulsive-addictive behavior? I ask, because of all the time in front of the computer - using techy things as a way of avoiding some other things, or being intent on 'succeeding' in something he is doing?


Carrie