love life after breast cancer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
love life after breast cancer
3
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 12:23pm
I don't believe I have seen this particular problem discussed much. Ten years ago I had a bi-lateral mastectomy. I am now 51 years old , I am single and have found men are not too excited about dating older women in general and then when they find out about my medical history they are really not interested. In case you maybe wondering I am 5'1 1/2" and weigh 107lbs exercise daily and have all my teeth, in other words I am not totally unattractive. I feel its stupid not to bring it up and its not the first words out of my mouth but I am starting to feel like I am really in the "reject" pile. The words that keep haunting me, I suppose are the words of my last husband , warning me that no man will be interested in "that mess". Where to find a nice man to have a casual relationship with seems impossible......anyone?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 2:20pm

your ex is a horse's behind.


it doesn't sound to me like you are a "reject" at all - you sound like a lovely, healthy, interesting, fit woman. maybe you are looking in the wrong places? maybe you are sending the wrong message? I don't really know. i am also a cancer survivor BTW, i had ovarian cancer, I am now in the process of getting divorced, and while i have no intention of getting married, i have every intention of eventually dating and finding a "partner".


I don't really have much advice as to where you should find normal men, maybe someone else has better ideas, i just wanted to send you some hugs...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Sat, 03-06-2004 - 7:25pm
My stomach turned when I read what your ex said. It is truly beyond me that one human being could actually say that to another, let alone someone who once supposedly loved you. You are NOT a reject in any sense of the word. There ARE men out there who will love and cherish you for you...who you are and everything about you, believe me. Please keep looking until you find one, but don't base your self-worth on what others think. Believe in your own self-worth and love yourself as the wonderful person you are. Hugs.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-06-2004
Sun, 03-07-2004 - 7:20pm
thanks for your kind words of encouragement. Having been married for my entire adult life, raising 5 children, its true I would have no idea , really where to meet any men.

The few I've gotten to know are more interested in a physical relationship....I am totally out of the loop I guess. Anyway , thanks for taking the time to cheer me up.Please stay well and good luck with your single life!

lilhummer