The Love of My Life is Shutting Me Out

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2011
The Love of My Life is Shutting Me Out
6
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 5:45pm

I took 6 years off from my last LTR to sort out my head and focus on my son. He is in college and out of the blue I met my high school crush. It was a fast and wonderful courtship. He was going thru an intense divorce which finally ended. All was well for us. Great sex, fun, compatibility.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Sun, 10-02-2011 - 6:18pm

Hi Dadli, I'm sorry you are going through this.

However, it doesn't sound like there's an 'us' to discuss on Tuesday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 12:25am

You met a man who was still in the process of a divorce!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Mon, 10-03-2011 - 9:39am

You took six years to be single and re-focus yourself after your last LTR ended. Is it so unfathomable that he might need time after his relationship (MARRIAGE) ends in order to process and heal?

You think "before this all was well" but before this, all was superficial. You may want to believe that all was well but you didn't really have any problems. You were having fun and sex, there were no real expectations. Now that you find yourself with the expectation of having this relationship function in the real world, it just can't happen. You even admit yourself that the courtship was "fast".

How can this guy possibly be the "love of your life"? He's shutting you out because he doesn't want a relationship with you. You bet he needs space... He JUST got divorced.

If you want to think in terms of "what about ME" then you don't have a chance of gaining an important understanding here. You had a whirlwind relationship where you were a rebound for him. I don't know why this wasn't obvious to you from the beginning, honestly it sounds like you DO know this, but you aren't willing to admit that this relationship was probably a mistake.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2011
Tue, 10-04-2011 - 5:40pm

thanks all..we had a talk..turns out he is seeing someone else..I wished him luck and said goodbye..I then sent him a note not to contact me again...he could have been upfront when I asked him..or he could have taken a break or broken up when I asked him..he said no he loved me and needed space..the reality was he used his kids as an excuse and not having money as a reason to step back..the truth was there is someone else...

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 10-05-2011 - 9:51am

I'm sorry it turned out this way... That has to hurt very badly. I'm glad you told him not to contact you again. We are here for you if you need support... I'm sorry he deceived you. At least you know NOW, but it doesn't make you feel any better...

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2011
Wed, 10-05-2011 - 8:28pm

I want someone who wants me..I don't have time to waste on this sort of person. I deserve more. It ended Sunday and I feel better already...I need to focus on ME...HUGS all