Love one guy, starting to like another
Find a Conversation
Love one guy, starting to like another
| Mon, 09-20-2004 - 4:31am |
I have a problem on my hands. My bf and i have been together for 20 months. i love him very much. he is a nice guy. i know that he loves me back. sometimes it bugs me the way he interacts with me though, especially in front of others. he acts as if i am nothing more than a good female friend. i have told him on several occasions that his behavior bugs me. recently, he has been ignoring my company in favor of his friends. this is a fairly common occurence. he'll hang out with them after work, and only when he's done will he call and ask to hang out. i can't just sit around waiting for him. now here comes the problem. on thurs we both had plans to go out with a couple of our buddies, all guys, to the bar and just socialize, dance, etc. the day we're supposed to go he calls and says that he went to another bar with the guys he plays in a band.this made me a little upset but i didn't let that stop me from going out with the rest of the guys. there's this guy, ryan, in our group who's very nice. he and i both love to dance, so we always end up on the dance floor together (my bf hates to dance and rarely does)that nite we danced for 2 straight hours nonstop. the whole time he kept telling me what a great dancer i am, how much fun he always has when were together and how pretty i looked that nite. this isn't the first time he's done and said all that. after that we i went back to their place. (All 3 guys live together) i was in ryan's room with him alone while everyone else was still partying. we talked for a long time and i enjoyed our conversation. we have a lot of common interests. later on he put on some music and we danced again, we slow danced. he held me in his arms and when i pulled him closer he pulled me closer and held me tighter. he started to rub my neck and back with his hands. we came this close to kissing but i turned my head the other way before he got the chance. i was over at his place until 6 in the morning. that was the best nite i have had in a long time. when ryan held me in his arms i was almost swept away. i haven't felt this way about my bf in a long time. while i love him very much, we don't have alot in common. i am amazed we have lasted this long. i told my bf that i am starting to like ryan. he thanked me for telling him about this and said that he would stand behind whatever decision i make. i don't know what to do. do i stay with my "safe" bf who is sweet but isn't giving me what i want out of life or do i take a chance on ryan who may be more compatible? i am almost positive he likes me back. does anyone have any thoughts? i have never been in this situation before and have no clue what to do? the situation is so upsetting to me i just want to cry.

Have you ever heard the expression: "The grass always looks greener when you're looking at it from the other side of the fence?"
Pianoguy wonders if RYAN is the grass...err...the guy...that you want to be with because your b/f has been ignoring you? While Ryan might be a terrific dance partner, there might be a 'flaw or two' in his personality that you're ignoring? THEN AGAIN...maybe there ISN'T and the man is 100% perfect? (Okay ladies...I'm stretching here because NO MAN is 100% perfect)!!! ANYWAY...
Your b/f seems comfortable letting you make up your mind---so if you're ready to "relinquish him for Ryan"---fine! But if you do...there's always the possibility that your current b/f will connect with somebody else? Can you accept this if things don't "come together" between Ryan and yourself?
Think about it...
Pianoguy
While Ryan is filling a void and it appears you two have more common interests, please go slowly if you decide to be with him. For one thing, he knows you have a bf and he still came on to you. How's that for integrity?
Edited 9/20/2004 2:59 pm ET ET by itwinflame
Carrie