In love with a stranger

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
In love with a stranger
31
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 12:50am
My husband and I had the best relationship. We loved to do absolutely everything together. We never argued about anything and now that's almost all we do. I keep the house clean, wash the clothes, wash the dishes even though its not done as fast as he wants it done, take care of our 2 dogs as in feeding and bathing and walking them the majority of the time, cook dinner, am a taxi driver for anywhere his 13 yr old and my 11 and 14 yr old daughters want to go, but because I don't have a job, he sees it as though I don't do anything. I have been un-employed for 3 yrs and constantly applying for jobs with no luck except for a few temp jobs. I know he is stressed out about paying all of the bills but he has become so cruel. And for the past 4 yrs of our marriage we didn't pay any rent because we were living in a house owned by my parents. He now calls me mean names and makes very demeaning comments and is just plain spiteful and he also drinks and always has. He rarely ever gets drunk but he has between 3 and 8 beers a every day and I would rather him not drink at all except maybe social gatherings with our friends but then he doesn't know when to stop.
I can't take any more of the hurtful words and ugly stares from him. My girls can't stand him anymore.He is like 2 different people now and the nice one only shows up about once a week and doesn't even stay around a whole day. He snaps at almost everything any of us say or do.
He has become extremely anul about everything!
I am a very emotional person. I am just like my mother who is a big hearted, sensitive woman. I have been through 2 divorces already from cheating husbands and I am almost ready for a third and final divorce. I can't keep taking all this pain and I can't keep putting my daughters in a bad situation.
I thought about nothing but suicide for close to a year but was never able to go through with it. I am miserable, sad, lonely, hurt and feel trapped. I have started applying for any and every job that I can hoping that I may be able to support me and my girls if or when I should decide to leave.
I need advice and guidance. Please! I am sure that I have been rambling on but still left out some details. I am not very good at putting thoughts into words but any help would be much appreciated.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 1:01am
Do you have any relatives you can go live with until you find a job?
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 1:08am
Yes but I wouldn't be able to keep my girls in school. My family lives outside the city limits. And I am quite sure my husband wouldn't let me use this this address.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2009
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 1:14am

Explain your title.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 1:43am
I don't know who I am any more. I'm hurt and confused and don't feel like I am doing anyone any good. I feel lost and worthless.
Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:05am

If you cannot take it then change the locks and kick him out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:14am
It is emotional abuse and he doesn't see it that way. He says he's just being "honest", which is bull! And I would love to lock him out but he is the one paying for the house and there is no way I can afford it. He makes pretty good money and I would have to get 3 decent paying jobs to even come close to what he makes. And I can't get a place for me and my girls until I get a job that is good enough to pay all the bills.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 2:18am
To Cherry... in love with a stranger means that the man I fell in love with is now a different man than the one I married.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 11:16am

I do think you need to explore all possibile options for how to leave.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 11:27am

First of all........you need to stop thinking about suicide.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2011
Wed, 07-20-2011 - 11:48am
Thank you music lover. You have given me a lot of options to look into. I don't mind having to move but if I can't find a place to live within the next month then my kids won't have a school to go to. There is no school near my family's houses except private school and I definitely can't afford that for 2 girls.

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