Mad at things said in the past..NEED ADV
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Mad at things said in the past..NEED ADV
| Fri, 10-01-2004 - 4:36pm |
I have been with my boyfriend for about a year. In the beginning of our relationship, he would say some thoughtless things about other girls to me. For example, he's told me a few times how incredibly attractive he thought this girl he used like was, he'd TOTALLY comment on girls he thought were pretty, etc, etc. He doesn't do this anymore because he's realized how uncomfortable (and pissed off) I was about it. But, sometimes, I still can't help but be mad at him for it. I almost find myself getting jealous too easily sometimes too, just because of some things he's said in the past. I know this is wrong..but I can't help it.
Also, I've even asked him (recently) why he used to say things like that and he just tells me that he didn't think it would bother me. Are some guys really that thoughtless? I mean..C'MON, you know? It's just funny to me too bc, now, he's like one of the most thoughtful people I know. Maybe back then, he was just..i dont know..an idiot.
Anyway, any advice?
Edited 10/1/2004 4:42 pm ET ET by aileeen
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| Fri, 10-01-2004 - 4:48pm |
Acutally, you CAN help it. And you MUST help it if you ever want to have a healthy, successful and deeply happy relationship with him or any other guy. Jealousy has nothing to do with love or him or the things he says and does. It has to do with you and your own insecurities. It's not easy to overcome that but it is possible with hard work. Just realize the problem is within you. He's modified his behavior after finding out his insensitive remarks bothered you. Kudos to him for that. It is HUMAN to find other humans attractive. You cannot control what another person thinks, feels or does. Please remember that. If he finds a hot girl attractive, so what? He's with you. As long as he's not cheating on you, he's only being human. He can't stop having opinions just because you feel insecure. Look, there are some women who are more attractive than you, just as you are more attractive than some women. That's life and you cannot change that. You need to realize you are a wonderful, worthwhile woman who has value and great qualities. He must agree or he wouldn't be with you. Go to a library or bookstore (or easier, search online) to look for books with topics on boosting your self esteem. Richard Carlson and Phillip McGraw are 2 authors out of many who have books that could help you. Good luck.
