Making him hurt

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-16-2007
Making him hurt
4
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 3:44pm
I feel so bad but I am not sure if I should.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: clbeavers
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 10:37pm

Welcome to the board clbeavers,


It's sad that some people can only see life from their point-of-view and their own feelings.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
In reply to: clbeavers
Tue, 04-08-2008 - 11:27pm
No one wants to hurt their S.O. but sometimes it happens.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: clbeavers
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 3:07pm

Welcome to the board,


Did he at least acknowledge that he does those things and that he is sorry for hurting you? Or was it all about how you have now hurt him?


I hate to say it but it sounds like he has abusive tendancies to me.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
In reply to: clbeavers
Wed, 04-09-2008 - 3:52pm

My making you feel guilty about speaking your truth (which you must and should), he is diverting attention from the real issue here. It's not about him, it's about you, and the way he treats you. You didn't hurt him by asking for the encouragement and respect you so richly deserve. Any relationship where one person is undermining another is an abusive relationship. Little by little this kind of behavior becomes more and more powerful and it can really wreck your life and self esteem. Don't let him do it. Don't take it in. Realize that there seems to be a power struggle here and he's trying to keep you down. Also realize that good, honest, open communication is at the heart of all relationships. If you both can't work things out alone, go see a counselor and get the guidance you need.


All good wishes,