Man trouble

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2003
Man trouble
2
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 7:55pm
I returned home from a trip where I entrusted my boyfriend with my automobile and home. When I returned everything was in tact with a few things even better before I left. I was putting gas in my car when I noticed that my front passenger side of my car was stratched. I informed my boyfriend who denied it but didn't even come over to check and see if he even did the damage. He then said that I was calling him a liar and said he wasn't going to pay for my car because he did nothing wrong. The fact is I never asked him to pay because I am getting my car repainted anyway. When I tried to smooth things over then he says I will call you back tonight when I am feeling better. Needless to say he never called. I am tired of him always being on the defensive. We have been together for a year and a half and think that his previous marriage has alot to do with the way he relates to me. I am not really a paitent person and my first instinct is the break up with him because of the way he responded and responds to anything he might think is negative. I am trying not to have a chip on my shoulder but it seems to be getting bigger and bigger by the moment. I really love him but this super sensitivity has got to stop. He doesn't even listen without jumping to conclusions! Is this something he can change or is this his lifestyle. Please advise.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
In reply to: manyrivers24
Wed, 05-28-2003 - 8:00pm
It sounds to me like couples counseling could really do you two some good. He needs to deal with his past relationship and you need to decide if you want to stay in this one. You two together need to work on reacting and communicating. If he won't go then that speaks volumnes about how much he cares about the relationship.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2003
In reply to: manyrivers24
Thu, 05-29-2003 - 5:18am
What a fun relationship, where you have to act like you're walking on eggs all the time, so as not to set him off!

As you said, yourself, you're not a patient person and in this situation, I don't blame you. He seems irrational and very childish. Whether or not it was caused by his former relationship really doesn't matter, I guess, because this is the way he is now and only he can change himself. (I have a feeling he's always been this way, though.) And...if he doesn't think he's got a problem, he's never going to change.

Please go find yourself someone who appreciates you and is not on the defensive all the time. He needs to work on himself and you really don't need the aggravation. Follow what you feel inside on this one. Hugs...