marriage - financially sound?
Find a Conversation
marriage - financially sound?
| Thu, 12-13-2007 - 4:05pm |
My fiance & I recently got engaged a few weeks ago & are planning to get married in a few weeks. We have been together about 2 1/2 years. I am also pregnant with

My husband helped me pay off my student loans when we got married. I can't imagine him resenting me for it.
You marry him, his debt, his problems etc. You two take on the responsibility of loans, etc together. If you can not accept that, then don't marry him. If you would rather stay financially sound and be a single mom (maybe this is a better choice?) then don't marry him. If he has no plans to stop smoking pot or get a good job, then don't marry him if you can't handle it.
What about
Welcome to the board changes07,
How fast can you read?
I don't think it's such a good thing when a couple don't share certain core values - and drugs is a big one - I know a couple where the man smokes and the wife hates it, i know another where the girl smokes and so does the guy (and both guys are very successful in their careers, btw) but the more harmonious relationship (by far)
I highly doubt a marriage between you will work out. Plain and simple. You're too different, you don't communicate well, he doesn't respect you without feeling controlled, and you don't even hold the same values.
Having a baby together will be a disaster for your relationship and marriage will make it worse. Sorry but that's just the truth. I DO NOT see people in your situation have happy marriages that last.
Marriage is for people who share a future because they want the same things from themselves and from one another. You should seriously rethink your decision to accept a proposal.
Thanks for the input.
My heart says yes, but my brain is saying not yet......
Welcome to the board changes07,
My dh and I signed a prenup before we were married. It was no big deal to me. We had always said we would do one before we got married and both of us are financially stable.
As for the drugs thing. To me drugs are the biggest dealbreaker. I simply could not be in a relationship with someone that did drugs of any kind. Also, someone that does drugs (especially pot because they always say it is only pot)
glitter-graphics.com
Hey C07 -
Getting married now because he'll save some tuition isn't a good reason. You can easily lose far more money than that by getting married when you're destined for an almost certain divorce within a few years. You say yourself you're worried about if the marriage doesn't turn out to be long term. If you already have doubts, don't do it.
You're not selfish at all. You actually have incredibly low standards if a drug-user that you have to financially support is who you want to be with for the rest of your life. That's not a normal financial sacrifice that's supposed to come with marriage. Making the decision to have a baby together already means you're going to be dealing with him forever, but at least you could minimize the damage by not actually marrying him on top of it.