Marriage going south

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-11-2008
Marriage going south
3
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 3:55am

I am afraid my marriage if going south rapidly.. My wife is becoming more and more disrespectful. She is not letting me finish my sentences. When I ask to let me finish my sentence, she tells me get on with it then.. The moment I start, she re-shoves my words in my mouth.

We have a month old baby. She doesn't leave the baby with me unless she is taking a shower. other than that, the baby is either sleeping, or being nursed, so I can not play with him. I come to bed, and her arms are around the baby in such a way that OI can not get close to my own baby.

Now we can no longer open up windows for fresh air due to the traffic along the lake shore. We live on the 23rd floor of a high rise in Chicago, looking over lake michigan, surrounded by running and cycling trails, and she says the exhaust fumes from the street are coming in to our condo.. If the air was this bad, why would there be a parks and trails around us?

She told me that she would curb her cussing when the child was born, but there is no chnage in her using the F word every time she gets frustrated. It is a disgusting turn off for me to hear any educated woman (let alone my own wife) to be be using that word so much...

Oh, she also argued with me for 20 minutes about a foul smell in our bedroom. I said it is our dog cutting cheese, she said, no it is her ears. I went and checked - it was not the ears but the butt. But we still argued for 20 more minutes where she covered herself and the baby with the blanket. I said the smell has dissipated and it is not health to cover the baby with blanket. I got blamed for not worrying about what is best for my baby. I am going crazy. What can I do?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-11-2008
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 7:03am

Well, first and most importantly,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 1:43pm

Welcome to the board newhicagodad,


I think you need to go with your wife her next few doctor appts.

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 09-11-2008 - 3:24pm

It sounds to me as though your wife needs some counselling. Is this your first child? She may be having some kind of postpartum reaction to the birth. Women react in all kinds of ways after the birth of a child. She needs help now to calm down, relax, and get in touch with simple realities. The pressure of having a baby to care for maybe causing too much stress here.


Gently suggest that she get some help. If she doesn't go for it, get some help yourself in dealing with this difficult situation.


Best wishes,