Marriage or Not?
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| Sat, 05-12-2007 - 3:25am |
I have been dating mike for more 3.5 years and we have lived together for 3 of those. we are happy in almost every respect but that i am unsatisfied in the bedroom. We are engaged and are to be married in august, three months. I have a high libido and mike has a low libido based on him getting very little sleep 4-5 hours a night max., working all the time and being very stressed. I am 23 and mike is 27 and I want sex pretty much every night or at least 4-5 times a week. We often go 2 weeks without sex, even more than a month. Our entire relationship has been this way, with times when the sex is more frequent but not for long and never as frequent as i would like.
My main question is should i marry a man who has never satisfied me sexually and that i cannot assume will change since he has not is 3 years? we argue about this often and it is our main source of friction and truthfuly i worry about cheating on him later out of sexual starvation. but i love him and we don't really fight about anything else. i would really love some help!!

You have a very fundamental need that is not being met and you think you may cheat because you are sex "starved", I think you have your answer. Sex is not about the mere physical act, it's about the connection, the closeness, and sometimes in a world gone crazy with stress it's the easiest way to express yourself and enjoy one another.
If after 3 years he has not thought to figure out a way to compromise you are in for a largely sexless LIFE! Most people don't have the benefit of knowing this going into a marriage. They're usually blind-sided after the fact when the passion dies. I couldn't live a passionless life and it doesn't sound to me like you can either. Relationships are about connecting and being compatible physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally and you are missing a key component.