Marriage problems - justified jealousy?
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Marriage problems - justified jealousy?
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 6:20pm |
My husband and I have been together for three years and married for almost two. We now have a 17 month old baby girl. When we first started dating, he broke up with me after two months because he said the feelings he had for me did not compare to ones he had for his ex-girlfriend - they had broken it off two years earlier. After two weeks we got back together when he told me he realised how lucky he was to have me. We got engaged and then I got pregnant as we decided not to wait. This ex has come up quite often as I can't seem to get over the feeling that he still wishes he was with her rather than me. To make matters worse, we were going through a rough period a year ago and he was staying at a friends. He emailed his ex, told her how well his career was going, how I was nuts and that he had a beautiful baby girl he was proud of. He signed the letter Love. She responded by saying her current partner, and one she has been with for years now, is wonderful and that she is sorry to hear of his problems. I only found this email by accident and he got mad at me, saying that once again my jealousy was causing problems. To me, writing her at a time when our marriage was in question speaks volumes. He did come to his senses though and brought me flowers and wrote her an email while I was standing over him, telling her it was wrong for him to write those things about me and that I was the love of his life... I feel as though I forced him to do this.
I do admit that I am a jealous person but there is no one in his past that I am concerned about other than this woman. He does insist he loves me and she is in his past and that it is time for me to put her there as well. But I don't completely buy it. I have become obsessed with this woman. I have looked her up on the internet and continue to do so to find out what she is up to. This is because I still feel as though if he had a choice he would be with her. Am I bringing her into our lives or is she already there? What do I do?
I do admit that I am a jealous person but there is no one in his past that I am concerned about other than this woman. He does insist he loves me and she is in his past and that it is time for me to put her there as well. But I don't completely buy it. I have become obsessed with this woman. I have looked her up on the internet and continue to do so to find out what she is up to. This is because I still feel as though if he had a choice he would be with her. Am I bringing her into our lives or is she already there? What do I do?
Signatures On
| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 6:49pm |
If he truly loves you, he will wish this woman well on the rest of her life and never speak to her again. She was the cause of so much turmoil in your relationship, and he obviously has lingering feelings for her, that you should accept nothing less than him severing contact from her indefinitely.
