May to December - Help with His Mother

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2011
May to December - Help with His Mother
14
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 1:54pm

Hi,

I am in a May to December relationship.

Pages

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-13-2009
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 2:18pm
How old is your boyfriend?

It would give a clearer picture, I think.

 

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 3:30pm

It sounds like your bf is not old enough to be financially self sufficient so he can make decisions without the economic blackmail that his mother is pulling.

You said, "he is involved in a lot of sports so it would be almost impossible for him to maintain a job and school at the same time."

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 7:46pm

Hi,

I have to say it sounds like you're dating a boy. And I mean a BOY as in too young for you. I think his mother has every right to want to protect her CHILD -which he is. I also want to point out that you're talking about a guy who isn't really old enough to know what he wants or what is possible for him - in relationship, career, etc. Frankly, I think you're robbing the cradle.

I think you need to do some internal searching. Why is this kid so attractive to you? Is it his innocence and immaturity that an appeal? Does he remind you of your first husband when he was that age? Is that a time of life you want to re-live? If so, then you need to do some work on yourself. It would not be fair to ask this young man to choose between his family and you. I think you need to be the grown up here and tell him to go home and find out what he really wants in his life. I think he'll be glad you did.

Good luck. And get busy working on yourself...and go find someone your own age.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 10-26-2011 - 11:12pm

I was wondering how his mom could "send him away" to go to work until you said he is still in college, so I"m assuming that he's only around 18-20 yrs old and you're 36-38.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 12:01am

You need to wake up and smell the roses!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2011
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 12:30pm

Thank you for all of your replies.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-24-2011
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 1:51pm

Ok after reading through all of these posts again there are a few things I would like to say.

Community Leader
Registered: 01-03-2004
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 2:07pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Thu, 10-27-2011 - 2:27pm

This situation can be looked at in a number of ways.. I do think the boy should go to school and grow up and all and I think OP you should let him go in love.. I mean he doesnt seem mature enough to handle this whole situation if he has to keep running back to his mommy for money and support. Yes; it would be different if he had a good job , could support himself and lived

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 10-28-2011 - 12:01am

You don't need a 20 year old friend.

Pages