Meddling friend-Re: Proposal/Engagement
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Meddling friend-Re: Proposal/Engagement
| Fri, 03-14-2008 - 8:47am |
Yikes-my BF is very upset with my BFF's meddling ways. We are not "young " people here either 30's to 42 years old.

Wow, this is a tricky situation.
I did notice that you said this: "I did try to tell him that I thought she figured she was doing us a favor but he was just so insulted and that was all he kept saying was he was upset and thought she needed to mind her own business."
Did you agree with your boyfriend that your friend should have minded her own business? Did you tell him that? Because if you only told him that you thought she figured she was doing you a favor then it could seem like you're defending her actions, but if you're not trying to defend her, then I think you should make that very clear to your boyfriend. You should might want to reenforce with him that you want to be MARRIED to him, and realize it's not just about the actual proposal.
I would be very angry with your friend too... but I'm not sure that forcing her to apologize to your boyfriend will do any good. Chances are it won't be a sincere apology, right? But, if you haven't already I would definitely tell her that she was out of line and this was meddling in your relationship, which, quite frankly isn't really any of her business. Hopefully she'll realize on her own that she should apologize.
Good luck, and let us know how it goes.
Welcome to the board bubbins78,
I do think you should email or call her and let her know what she did was upsetting for both you and your bf.
In my opinion, what is wrong with him proposing at a casino anyways? You the room was nice and had a great view. I am sure he wouldn't have done it on the gaming floor anyways.
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Welcome to the board bubbins78,
And you are *friends* with her because....?
Well thank good ness this has come to rest...well we are close anyway.
My BF is totally over it and was convinced based on my reaction alone that I had nothing to do with her stupid idea to say what she did to him. He said he is still torked with her-but nothing he cannot just get over he said. He did however want to ensure that I told her she had no right meddling with him considering she hardly even knows him. He wanted me to remind her that she should not poke her noce around where it's not wanted and just because she is pushy and nosy she could put people off with that behavior if she dosn't watch it.
So I did just that, I told her everything that he said and she felt truly, very sorry. She tried stating in her defense that right before her husband proposed someone dropped a few hints to him via email and he actually appreciated thier comments and suggestions. Again, I reminded her how different we all are and that my BF is very private, very quiet, and very much likes to blend in with a crowd-her husband on the other hand is on TV, and always has to be the center of attention (yes he does admit that)-so what does that say? That her hubby and my BF are total opposites and what works for one certainly dosnt work for the other.
I am sure when we get together with them this weekend for dinner it may be a bit akward at first-but it's best to get it out of the way and move on-that is if anything more even needs to be said, which I will leave up to my BF and I don't plan to say anything more.
I tell you what though-if he DOES propose that weekend? I will be sure to let you know!
Bubbins78 - believe me, your boyfriend is not over it.
Well you were right; he is not "over it" (I
What she did was beyond rude, it was outrageous. She was way out of line, disrespecting your boundaries and relationship. You need to really confront her about this. Yes, she must apologize, and you must be sure that something like this never repeats itself. You should also apologize to your boyfriend on her behalf. It's important to know who to confide in and what it means to be a friend. Boundaries are sacred and no one has the right to violate them. Let her know that. Let her know the distress she has caused. Don't gloss over this. It speaks volumes.
Best wishes,
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Ok, I've read the thread and all of the responses ... and I still contend "with a friend like that, who needs enemies!" ... you really might want to consider the strength of this friendship and her character.