Meeting his parents
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Meeting his parents
| Tue, 04-20-2004 - 9:25pm |
Hey everyone, thanks again for your advice from the last message I posted. But I need advice on another issue. So I am thanking anyone in advance for replying. My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. We have become very very close and we love each other very much. We have even talked about marriage in the future. THe one problem is that I have not met his family yet. He has met my family and is very close to them, I guess I would like to have that same relationship with his family. I just feel left out of that part of his life and its really hard. I feel like I wont know the real him until i meet his family. He said he wants me too meet them but he is just waiting for the right time. Im getting impatient but I dont want to pressure him about this touchy subject. His mom told him not to bring another girl home unless she is the one because they got attatched to his past two ex's who cheated on him. If im the "one" like he says, then I should have met them by now. I guess I just dont understand and never will. Please respond I appreciate your input. Thanks.

Sounds like your boyfriend is afraid or embarrassed by his MOM! And he's probably a little scared to "bring you home" to meet the family...if Mom has already prejudged his past girlfriends.
This probably sounds a little dumb, but if your boyfriend is loved and respected by YOUR PARENTS...let the issue with his parents go. If marriage is definitely in the cards for the two of you, everybody will have to meet each other eventually.
There are SOME MEN out there who feel uncomfortable bringing their girlfriends or spouses home to Mom (or Dad). Maybe this is due to a past behavior trait of theirs...perhaps it's a feeling of being uncomfortable in the same room? You might want to ask your b/f if there's a past issue with either of his folks that's still bothering him? You may (or may not) get an honest answer.
But the last thing you want to do is pressure him. His true feelings about a "long-term relationship" between you will eventually come to the surface. Best of luck to you both.
Pianoguy
Due to the fact that your boyfriend's parents told him not to bring home anyone else unless he is positive that she is the "one", it seems as though to him, bringing you home to meet them, is equivalent to a marriage proposal. What he needs to understand is that you also have a right ot decide whether he's "the one", and part of this decision for you includes meeting his family. He seems to be caught between a rock and a hard place. He feels close to you, but clearly not yet ready to declare you to his parents as his fiancee. How about you? Are you ready to do that with him? You suggest that meeting his family is an important step in your decision. Seems like he needs to have a talk with his family and have them take him off the hook. It's natural to bring someone you are dating seriously home, and he shouldn't have the kind of pressure about it that they have put on him.
All good wishes,
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