This is a mess
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This is a mess
| Sun, 05-25-2008 - 1:22am |
I'm a smart, professional 24 yr old who is dating a 33 yr old who is going through a divorce.
| Sun, 05-25-2008 - 1:22am |
I'm a smart, professional 24 yr old who is dating a 33 yr old who is going through a divorce.
In my experience, great relationships don't have all this turmoil.
Everything you said was right.
I agree completely with what true.blue said to you.
This guy feels deeply for you but what he needs right now is an easy girl who doesn't require much and doesn't expect much of him. So, I don't think you fit one another right now - it seems you find your way back to one another based on how strong your feelings are, but break apart based on how different and incompatible you are at this point in your lives.
"I just wonder now if I'm enabling him to be distant by continuing to be super-attentive, empathetic and affectionate"
That's likely, if a guy isn't feeling into being cuddled up against, then this kind of behavior is going to make him distant.
There is no time when I would EVER say it's inappropriate to stand up for yourself. Of course you should. If your needs aren't being met then this relationship is not working. I don't know how much time and attention you're willing to put into this guy but it sounds as though he is rebuffing your efforts. Sure he cares about you but I get the sense that this isn't really what he needs right now.
Welcome to the board pjbouchard,
Things to think about:
::But we all know human nature, and the more he sunk into the depression and pulled away, the more needy and clingy I acted- I was scared.