met a great guy son has schizophrenia
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met a great guy son has schizophrenia
| Fri, 07-02-2004 - 11:34pm |
I met a wonderful guy last May & we just hit it off like two peas in a pod!
Life was great!
But, this guy I'll call him (Joe), well Joe very lightly explained that his son had schizophrenia & so he is always taking care of his 22 yr. old son. And I have absolutely no problem with that as a matter of fact I would like to be a part of his & his 2 sons
lives. Now you have to understand that I know knothing about the illness. But,I care so much about Joe, that I would like to learn more & be able to help! Joe does have a full time job but, 99% of the time Joe never can get out of the house for fun time until 9-10 p.m. & that's only if Joe says his son isn't shaky. Also Joe has a job that allows him to take one day off a week to take his son for doctors visits & tests. Plus I live an hour away from Joes house.We met one evening after my working hours were over for the night.
And Joe did mention that he has a hard time finding someone to have a relationship with because he's so wrapped up in his son. But,I feel he's one hell of a great guy & father.
It is taking it's toll on me. Because when we first met we couldn't get enough of each other & he was always calling me also, even at work after my shop was closed. But I had lost my job & like I said I live an hour away. I did Get a better job offer & he told me that that was close to his work. I'm just very down in the dumps & confused as to what has changed things. You know how guys are they don't feel comfortable with talking about much so you have to look for clues, to try & figure out what's wrong and, how to fix it. He did say that it does make it hard to have a relationship with me living an hour away.
Does any one have any input on my problem?
Life was great!
But, this guy I'll call him (Joe), well Joe very lightly explained that his son had schizophrenia & so he is always taking care of his 22 yr. old son. And I have absolutely no problem with that as a matter of fact I would like to be a part of his & his 2 sons
lives. Now you have to understand that I know knothing about the illness. But,I care so much about Joe, that I would like to learn more & be able to help! Joe does have a full time job but, 99% of the time Joe never can get out of the house for fun time until 9-10 p.m. & that's only if Joe says his son isn't shaky. Also Joe has a job that allows him to take one day off a week to take his son for doctors visits & tests. Plus I live an hour away from Joes house.We met one evening after my working hours were over for the night.
And Joe did mention that he has a hard time finding someone to have a relationship with because he's so wrapped up in his son. But,I feel he's one hell of a great guy & father.
It is taking it's toll on me. Because when we first met we couldn't get enough of each other & he was always calling me also, even at work after my shop was closed. But I had lost my job & like I said I live an hour away. I did Get a better job offer & he told me that that was close to his work. I'm just very down in the dumps & confused as to what has changed things. You know how guys are they don't feel comfortable with talking about much so you have to look for clues, to try & figure out what's wrong and, how to fix it. He did say that it does make it hard to have a relationship with me living an hour away.
Does any one have any input on my problem?
Signatures On
| Sat, 07-03-2004 - 3:48am |
If he's that busy with his son, it probably is hard for him to have a relationship with someone who's an hour away. His son will always come first. Obviously his son's illness, moods, hallucinations, etc. can change from hour to hour and he may not be able to leave him unattended for long periods of time if at all. If you want to know more about his son's illness, why not take the initiative to find information about it on the net, from a mental health facility, from your bf. Ask him for references or if he has info he is willing to share with you. Once you have some background, it will help you understand why he is so involved with his son. If you want to be involved in their lives, initiate doing something together with them part of the time. It's not unrealistic to expect time alone with your bf - it's just in his situation it's not as easy as in other relationships. It's often hard for parents of dependent children who have special needs to find informed responsible care givers to give some respite. At least where I live. I'm a caregiver of a special needs adult and many times end of giving up my free time because another caregiver isn't available and he can't be left unattended for a predictable amount of time. This is just reality. If the relationship is important to you, discuss your moving closer to him - so you can see each other more and get to know his son better as well. You may score points with him on that note. good luck.
