Minor meltdown right now...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-16-2003
Minor meltdown right now...
2
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 2:16am
I just posted this on the relationships in your 20s board originally but think it may be more relevant here

Things arent really making a lot of sense to me right now, and god I wish this was chat but I'll just post whats running through my head and see if anyone understands.

I love my boyfriend. But I am so scared that he is not the one. I love him, and enjoy being with him, but there's no excitement. I mean the chemistry that people supposedly have? What is that? Is it something that you just feel,a la jane austen, or is it something else more subtle. I am so scared of so many things right now. That I'll never find a love that just sweeps me off my feet and I know to my core is real. That I'll inadvertantly hurt people I love and care about because I dont love them enough...or in the right way. I just don't know anymore, and I am having probs not thinking about it.

I feel so f-ing pathetic right now. I can;t even understand my own heart.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Fri, 08-20-2004 - 8:32am

You are by no means pathetic... Only being in your 20's (im assuming thats correct if you posted in the relationships in your 20's board) Its common to feel torn, not sure of what to do- or how to feel...whats right, whats wwrong and not even be sure if your even close to being in the middle somewhere . Im not suree how long you have been dating this person, but I think I speak for the majority of couples when I say that its common to sometimes be confused, but you owe it to your self to be happy. Be clear that there is a difference between getting in a rut, falling to habit, not sure how to get things back on track and not feeling the same level of love for you SO as they feel for you. If you feel like you cant be with this person- good days and bad and be excited to experience both with this person, you dont belong with him.


Please feel free to email me at any time you need to talk.


redwingfan1981@yahoo.com


best wishes,


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2004
Sun, 08-22-2004 - 1:09pm
I experienced similar feelings for my boyfriend at one point. I love him very much but I just wasn't sure if he was the one. I always thought is there someone else out there that I'm supposed to be with? Anyway, about a month ago, he brokeup with me after 2 and a half years together. This breakup has given me a lot of time to do some thinking and I now know without a doubt that he is the one that I want to spend the rest of my life with. He's always felt that way aobut me from the beginning and now he's saying that although he loves me, he's not in love with me. How ironic? I guess what I would do if I was you would be to think about life without him. Would you be able to be happy not having him in your life? Make a list of all of the things you would miss about not having him around? THat should give you an idea. I am so miserable right now without my boyfriend and I'm going to try to get him back it it's not too late.