Minor meltdown right now...
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| Fri, 08-20-2004 - 2:16am |
Things arent really making a lot of sense to me right now, and god I wish this was chat but I'll just post whats running through my head and see if anyone understands.
I love my boyfriend. But I am so scared that he is not the one. I love him, and enjoy being with him, but there's no excitement. I mean the chemistry that people supposedly have? What is that? Is it something that you just feel,a la jane austen, or is it something else more subtle. I am so scared of so many things right now. That I'll never find a love that just sweeps me off my feet and I know to my core is real. That I'll inadvertantly hurt people I love and care about because I dont love them enough...or in the right way. I just don't know anymore, and I am having probs not thinking about it.
I feel so f-ing pathetic right now. I can;t even understand my own heart.

You are by no means pathetic... Only being in your 20's (im assuming thats correct if you posted in the relationships in your 20's board) Its common to feel torn, not sure of what to do- or how to feel...whats right, whats wwrong and not even be sure if your even close to being in the middle somewhere . Im not suree how long you have been dating this person, but I think I speak for the majority of couples when I say that its common to sometimes be confused, but you owe it to your self to be happy. Be clear that there is a difference between getting in a rut, falling to habit, not sure how to get things back on track and not feeling the same level of love for you SO as they feel for you. If you feel like you cant be with this person- good days and bad and be excited to experience both with this person, you dont belong with him.
Please feel free to email me at any time you need to talk.
redwingfan1981@yahoo.com
best wishes,