A miser? Or just selfish?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
A miser? Or just selfish?
52
Wed, 09-03-2008 - 11:46am

Hello,


I have an embarassing problem I can't turn anywhere else for help.


My boyfriend of almost four years appears to have extreme problems with spending any money at all on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 3:58pm

Happy Birthday!!!


Here's the thing about the gift he gave you, he's true to form.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2007
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 5:47pm

<< I was referring specifically to splitting the check--telling him exactly why you're doing it as opposed to simply requesting separate checks without explaining as has been suggested by other posters. >>


Actually, I'm the only poster who specifically suggested requesting separate checks (although kimbernee said "go dutch").


You'll also note that I DID tell her to tell him exactly what she was doing (in general) with her whole approach to the relationship.


We're on the same page regarding this.


iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 8:36pm

Guy,


I think that most posters were (wisely) suggesting that I be direct with him.


The problem is....I have been.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 9:09pm

Carrie,


Yes!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2008
Fri, 09-05-2008 - 10:22pm

Ahhh..he is different with othe people.

Avatar for northwestwanderer
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 12:59pm

I really think that's the wrong question to be focusing on because you'll never have an answer and you'll drive yourself crazy trying to figure it out.


The question you need to answer, FOR YOURSELF, is, given that *THIS IS HOW HE IS* in the context of your relationship, can I live with it and be happy in this relationship?


Re being direct with him:

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 2:31pm

Happy Birthday!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 2:36pm

<< The problem is....I have been.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-07-2006
Sat, 09-06-2008 - 8:59pm

Starbuck,


Is your name because you like coffee?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 09-07-2008 - 1:21am

Second answer (after some gentle probing):