Mixed Emotions

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-03-2004
Mixed Emotions
1
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 2:03am
In Late Aug of 2003,I started talken to Zach on the Interent little did we know we only lived 45 minutes away from each other...we Decided to meet up one night and we hit it off good..He asked me to be his girl then he changed his mind and said wait until we moved in together, a couple of weeks later I find a house and were moveing in...2 days later he tells me that His girlfriend was moveing from another State, They had never even met before,and I was thinking me and him were supposed to be together...Along down the line I started getting Jealous of all the girls calling.. He we were liveing together in a One bed room house we had a pretty hot sexual life going on together but yet Only friends...Then Slowly it was getting to the point that If either of us talked to the Oppsite sex we got jealous but still wanted to remain friends...2 months later we ended up moveing out going out seprate ways...But time to time I would go get him to stay with me...One night I was at a friends house drinking he comes in and gets me out of the house and brings me home only to tell me he loves me more than a friend...But Yet still wants to stay friends...couple of weeks later I find out that I was Pregnant..He said it would be best for me to get an Abortion so I had to done..After That I was kinda scared to face him..but we still talked...Zach had gotten back together with one of his ex's who he asked to marry him and gave her a promise ring...couple of weeks later after I just hooked up with a new guy he calles me on Ronnie's cell phone crying telling me he wants to be with me now and that He truly loves me and even wants to marry me...So I come back home..On New Years Eve I went to spend it with him..He had Broken up With the girl and I had Broken up with my guy so we could Be together.....Now here is the REALLY BIG PROBLEM.. My Family Adores Zach and They really want me to marry him and they want us to have kids...He tells me When were apart He would do anything to be with me that HE really truly loves me wants to marry me..When I finally see him Face to Face Its pretty much turned around..He only wants to be together in a Relationship when we are apart. when we are together its only a Friendship love type...We Both get Extremly Jealous if Either one of us talks to ANybody else...Yet we don't want to be together but we dont want each other to be with anybody else...PURE JEALOUS OF Talken,Touching or Just Being with ANybody else But Each other...Yet We DOn't want To Be together in that way when we are around each other..PLEASE HELP US WE ARE SO DANG CONFUSED....
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sat, 01-03-2004 - 2:55am
Don't take offense, but it sounds like a maturity issue. He's only serious about you when you are apart, because he's lonely, doesn't want to be alone, thinks live is better with you than without you. BUT then he gets with you and he doubts what he wants, can't commit, doesn't have the maturity to be in a long-term relationship.

For you - well, you will have to decide how long you are willing to be a yo-yo to his emotions, actions and decisions and start making decisions that are in your best interest.

Reading material to consider:

Get Smart with Your Heart: The Intelligent Woman's Guide to Love, Lust, and Lasting Relationships by Suzanne Lopez Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse

Teen Esteem: A Self-Direction Manual for Young Adults by Pat Palmer

How to Succeed at Being Yourself: Finding the Confidence to Fulfill Your Destiny, by Joyce Meyer

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon

What Smart Women Know, Steven Carter & Julia Sokol

Are You The One For Me? Barbara DeAngelis


Carrie