Mixed Signals

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Mixed Signals
11
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 7:46pm

I recently started medical school and in the first week I met a guy that I liked.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 8:13pm

Mandymax,

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 8:38pm

That's probably exactly what it was. I think it just confused me because of how he acted about ending things- constantly changing his mind, trying to hook up, and then actually ending it, only to get upset by me walking out, chase me to my car and get upset because our friendship was over. In between this he made rude comments about other guys that have hit on me in our class and asked if I was attracted to any of them and if I'd go for them.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 12:11am

"Hooking up", or having sex in plain English, doesn't imply a relationship of any kind, especially with someone you just met and hardly know.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 8:30am

"Then he said he kind of had a crush on someone else in our class"

This is the real reason. The others (too much schoolwork, afraid of your ex getting back together with you) are excuses.

"He is full of contradictory actions and statements and I'm honestly just plain confused as to what is going on in this guys mind"

People who act contradictory are usually doing so because they have conflicting feelings, and they act based on what they are feeling at any particular moment. One moment he wants to hook up because he is horny. The next he doesn't because he is more attracted to another girl in one of the classes.

"I left angry he followed me and spent hours trying to make me feel better about it not working."

Yes, so he could have someone to still occasionally hook up with and not completely burn bridges with. He doesn't hate you. But he also doesn't want a relationship with you. He may also like your friendship, but he's displaying just how emotionally retarded he is when he acts in such a way that he expects you to be a Friend With Benefits, to forget anything else ever happened, and to allow him to do whatever the hell he feels like doing at the time.

He's a moron and I am glad you understand that. There's really nothing more to this situation than the fact that this guy is a selfish arse.

I find it a little odd that the other posters are glossing over the fact that he broke up with you but continued pursuing you for sex/friendship. I agree that moving on is the right answer, and it's not a particularly complicated situation, but you're certainly justified at being angry at him for the way he's treating you now.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 9:51am
"He's a moron and I am glad you understand that. There's really nothing more to this situation than the fact that this guy is a selfish arse."

Is he planning to be a surgeon?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 11:28am

Ha, ha--have you watched a lot of Gray's Anatomy?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 6:36pm

>>find it a little odd that the other posters are glossing over the fact that he broke up with you but continued pursuing you for sex/friendship.<<

Truth be told, I was a little confused by the story.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 6:55pm

haha yes actually he is

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Sat, 09-17-2011 - 2:05am

He may be sending mixed signals but you need to send him a signal loud and clear that you can't and won't be jerked around. Your main purpose in being in school is to complete your education, don't let sex and relationships get you off course.

When I was in school I was with this guy who wanted to keep our relationship secret and I agreed because I didn't want people to know my business. But his reason was completely different from mine as it turned out he had a girlfriend who lived off campus and who was pregnant. When guys want to hide a relationship it is usually because there is someone else that they are involved with.There will be plenty of time for relationships don't let this creep mess with your emotions and waste your time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-15-2011
Thu, 09-29-2011 - 9:21pm
This was really helpful. Thank you so much, your completely right and I can't believe I didn't look at this way! Thank you!!

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