Money Saving in a Relatioship

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-04-2004
Money Saving in a Relatioship
1
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 3:23pm
Hi to who ever takes time to read my message. I have wrote stuff before but this time i am concern about something and I wanted to ask with this letter. I have been with my B/F for almost 2 years and I have been saving money for about 6 months without telling him. I am very independent but we try to share everything as well as the bills we pay. I take care of my self, my needs as a woman like buying make up, shampoos, and other things such as clothing. He buy food together or he will buy it one week and i will the next something like that. Our relatioship is good but i am concern aobut my saving's plan. Should i tell him about it or just keep it to my self. Anyways we will get married soon and for I feel kind of sad about having to hide something from him. Lately he has been buying food and other things but i feel that if he knows that i have some savings on the side than he will be more like ok its your turn to buy this now or to do this like not taking responsability with me. I feel that he should always buy our food because i always cook for him meaning always and wash his cloth and clean most of the time so i deserve to be treated good. Please help me to find an answer to this. thank you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2003
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 8:00pm
Here's a few things to think about....

Is it causing him a hardship now to buy your food, or is he willingly taking the lead in providing? Does he complain that you never have any money to contribute? You mentioned your responsibility...does he think you are not financially responsible? That you are maybe "mooching" off his generosity? What exactly is your "motive" for the "secret savings plan"? Is it escape money in case things dont work out?

Once you are married, money can become a really "big" issue, to the point it can make or break the best of relationships. What about "honesty" and "trust"?

If it was me, I would not keep it a secret. But that's me. Only you can answer this one.