Mood Swings

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
Mood Swings
3
Sun, 09-12-2004 - 7:08pm
My boyfriend recently got out of a divorce and is still dealing with the problems from it. Emotionally, that is. We went to a concert last night and I had a really bad headache, almost a migraine. I was fine when we left the house, but it really started bothering me when we got out there. We stayed for a few hours and it got to the point I couldn't handle it. He decided that we should leave and we headed home. When we were in the car I was semi-laying down in the chair. It hurt to look outside so I slumped down in the chair and sleep on the way home. He said that the way I was sitting reminded him of his exwife and he got upset about it. I called him this morning when I woke up and he sounded all down and depressed. I asked waht was wrong and he said that he was just disappointed in last night. He was disappointed because I was sick and we left and he missed his concert. In a nutshell. I had enough of his down in the mouth and I said that he's acting childish about it and that did it. He got even more upset with me and now he doesn't even want to see me tonight. This isn't the first time this has happened. He gets upset with me and says that everything is his fault or he causes it all and that I get upset because of something he has done. He even said today on the phone that feels that we don't have much of a relationship right now and that there are other guys out there who want to be with me. But in the next sentence he'll say something like that things will be okay once he gets over it all. I'm not sure what to do anymore...he won't let me talk about it and has basically shut things off. Any ideas? I do love him and he means so much to me and he doesn't feel he does, but to a point. Things are fine when nothing happens, but when something comes up then he's like he is now. I don't want to loose him because I do care about and want to be wtih him, it's just the blaming me I can't handle.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2004
In reply to: recipechef
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 1:27am
Sorry about this situation going on. It's kind of confusing when a divorce/new relationship is involved. So I guess I have a couple of questions. First, how long was he married? Any kids? When did he get a divorce? How long after the divorce did you start dating and how long have you been dating? Good luck!

Lindsay

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2004
In reply to: recipechef
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 9:27am
I think they were married for about 12 years and they had one son who he has primary custody of although he's not with him right now. We started dating a year ago this month...he was still legally married, but seperated. When we first started dating it wasn't anything serious...we just had dinner where he worked and that was it. So it was more of a friendship thing. It became more serious right before the divorce, but by then she moved away and was no longer here. We seem to have these roller coasters. Things will be fine and then something happens and he goes back down and after a day or two things are fine again. I know divorce is hard, but I'm not his exwife and I definitely don't do the things she did. I feel like now I can't get sick because it'll remind him of her. He did call last night and say that he hoped I was okay and the was doing okay and that he'd talk to me and see me sometime today. It's this roller coaster ride that gets old.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
In reply to: recipechef
Mon, 09-13-2004 - 2:12pm

so where is the son? does he see him? pay CS?


now to your question - sorry, but this man seems like a VERY VERY imature self centered brat. sorry.... but geez - does he think that the ENTIRE world has to REVOLVE around HIM every sinlge minute of the day?


i don't know you - how old you are - etc but honey - you REALLY deserve someone who REALLY cares about *you*