Mother is still driving me CRAZY!
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| Mon, 08-06-2007 - 12:19pm |
Hi All,
Just to update you all on the situation regarding my relationship with my mom..Its still as bad, she is refusing to call out to my house, and to be honest i avoid her also, only calling home to the folks house when she is out or at work.. My father is fine with things now, but maybe that is all just a face for my benefit. Deep down i know he is thinking the same as mom , but he just doesnt want to keep going on about it.. Thats the difference between my mom and dad, she will be very blunt and honest about things, and has always been, whereas my dad prefers to keep the peace. I have been mentioning my boyfriend infront of my dad, although lately my dad has been doing some work in my house and he knows that my boyfriend stays over, but he insists that i " get rid " of him before he comes over..and considering my dad is an early riser at like 10am, last week, myself and the boyfriend left the house at 9am, and went for breakfast so that we wouldnt be there when my dad called. Isnt this terrible treatment, especially as i am the one paying the bloody mortgage!! and its my house.. Has anyone any advice as to how i can diplomatically speak to my dad, and how i dont have to run out of my own house so as the boyfriend and dad dont meet.. im cracking up.....

Hi there, is is part of the original story..its a bit messy, but seriously, i could do with the advice because i hate this situation im in, i love my family, but i love my boyfriend 2. how can i have both? and both like each other? maybe i cant.. best regards..
Part 1
hi guys, I’m 26, im dating my boyfriend for the last 12 months and we love each other deeply. ive just bought a new house, i own a car, and ive a good job. however my boyfriend is the most kind,caring,sweet and gentle person ive ever met, he was even a virgin until we met last year. we had dated as teenagers but my parents found out and made me stop seeing him back then. Again, now at 26, she never liked him from the start, she wants me to date men wit big cars,a house, and decent job. . He doesnt have a great job, and still lives at home. She wants me to break up with him this time round again, and has said if i dont do it now, it will be harder in the long run... To be honest, i can see myself marrying him in the future, as he has all the characteristics that i would want in a husband. i would like if he had a better job and a car , and a house, to hopefully in the future he will. have you any advice on how to handle this with my parents, as its really upsetting me,and trust me ive met my fair share of different men, that have treated me badly and cheated on me in the past, so now i can appreciate what i have now. Any advise would be great..
Part 2
Yes, my parents feel that he wouldnt be able to provide for me in the future the way i should.. but havent i built up everything so far myself? I do understand that we will possibly need 2 incomes to support a family etc. in the future. They dont want me to struggle in the future.. i dont either to be honest, but im not struggling now, and they are making life very uneasy by butting in.. i know they are only looking out for me.. My dad came around, and realised that we are sensible people and that we love each other, and that maybe we will be ok. My mam has had other life experiences however over the years, and maybe that is swaying her a little.. I havent spoken to her properly in 5 weeks, and for me its very hard.. she wont listen until she breaks us up, and to be honest its on my mind all the time.. Its really affecting me, esp when my siblings are fine with it and really like him also. I dont know how to resolve things with her.. im stuck for words.. she's very stubborn, and its a case, that she's not talking to me, she is making me feel like ive dont something wrong, which i havent, is loving someone, and being in a happy relationship so wrong????
If you love him and can assume that he might not be as successful or motivated as you then you should go for it.
But think this through- he still lives at home. Why? Will you take over where his mom left off once you two are living together? Does he clean, do laundry or cook? Will you grow to resent it? Is he motivated in other ways? Does he want to get a better job?
You can not control what your parents say, feel or do. You will have to accept that. Hopefully you mom will come around and your father can sway her some.
Previous posts:
parents dont approve
parents dont approve part 2!
parent still dont approve..
hi there,
No he is a highly motivated guy,places soccer, football and baseball.. all around active guy.. he always cooks me dinner at my house , loads the dishwasher and empties it. and helps keep the house tidy.. and even dresses the bed!!.. i think that he is really close to his family , and not that his mother does every thing for him, she doesnt at all.. im finding it really hard as i used to be very close to my mom.. why cant she understand out of all the bad ones ive met over the years, this guy is the closest ive ever been to "mr. right."..