Move On or Work It Out?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2005
Move On or Work It Out?
13
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:24pm

A quick run down of history - I'm 40.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2002
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 4:44pm

There are so many red flags in your post.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2005
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 5:02pm

My 'terms' as he called it, were that we would stay married, he would wear his ring, he would share his location on latitude.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 5:06pm

Yes; I also see many red flags and please dont let him back into your house. J doesnt sound stable and your children are at risk.

Maybe you need to date him as you say for closure. I remember when I was going through a divorce and after my divorce was done I did see my ex husband here and there and my ex was a mental case.. I guess I just needed to end that unfinished business with him..

Then my ex went back with his gfriend and I went on with my life and that was that.

Dr.Phil says that you are ready to divorce when you can walk out the door without pain or grief or tears or anger. You just know its time to go..Your psyche and soul and heart will know. So take it slow and seek out counseling.. They can help you move forward into reality.

Good Luck

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 7:19pm

Daisy,

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 7:24pm

Daisyverymarried, as a mother, your children are your first priority.

Avatar for mhash
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 8:00pm
This guy who may have sexually molested your daughter or at the very least had been inappropriate with her AND you want to work it out with him? Based on only that incident, I do not know why you would do that. I think not wanting to be alone is a sucky reason to get back together with a man who is a possible pedophile. Yes, anything that he has promised does not mean much. You have stated you can never trust him around your grandkids so why even entertain the possibility?

Stop all contact. Get a divorce lawyer.

Mark
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 1:44am

This whole story is nuts.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 11:20am

You need to get some help for yourself!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 11:29am

I got divorced & got remarried when my DD was 13.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 11:31am

Please don't take this the wrong way... Your post is so disturbing, I am seriously concerned for you and your kids.

I really think you need to talk with a professional. You are in a very unhealthy place, and you are not the only victim. If there is even a question in your mind that you should "work it out" with a man who has abused your children, you can't afford NOT to find a psychologist to give you the help you really need. You and your kids (though they are close to adulthood) should not have to suffer because of the men you choose.

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