A quick run down of history - I'm 40.
You don't see it now but one day you are going to be held accountable to your children for the harm that you have done to them by bring that child predator in their lives. You need to get them into counseling and stop thinking so much about yourself and your twisted marriage. I used to work in a runaway shelter and it still bothers me how mothers would choose a man over their children time and time again and the kids
Your life with him would have to be completely separate from your family????
Please don't take this the wrong way... Your post is so disturbing, I am seriously concerned for you and your kids.
I really think you need to talk with a professional. You are in a very unhealthy place, and you are not the only victim. If there is even a question in your mind that you should "work it out" with a man who has abused your children, you can't afford NOT to find a psychologist to give you the help you really need. You and your kids (though they are close to adulthood) should not have to suffer because of the men you choose.
I got divorced & got remarried when my DD was 13.
You need to get some help for yourself!
This whole story is nuts.
Daisyverymarried, as a mother, your children are your first priority.