moving

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-07-2004
moving
1
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 2:09pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about 5 years now. I have a bad childhood and was grown in a family with a pessimistic attitude. Before I met my boyfriend, I was very depressed, had an eating disorder, and had a very low self-esteem. When my boyfriend and I started to dating, he helped me realize that I am a good person and he helped me through all the times when I was upset and felt like I was useless. He helped me overcome my depression (which went from crying everyday to crying 3-4 times a year) and now I accept myself and actually believe that I can achieve my goals.

I am finishing up my Masters degree and plan to be relocating, due to a job offer. My boyfriend wants to come live with me, but the problem is that he doesn't have a full-time job lined up. He is a part-time supervisor and his company will allow him to relocate, but he cannot become a full-time employee until he receives his degree. He is not someone that enjoys school, and therefore he still has 2-3 years left until he gets his Bachelors degree. Since he has a very very low GPA, he pretty much can't get accepted to another school.

So the options for him are:

1. Stay back home and finish up his degree

2. Move with me, but only work part-time.

Money is not the issue with option 2, its just that if I allow him to move in with me, its promoting him not to finish school and that only working part-time is okay. He and I have discussed getting married and having a family, but I feel that I will end up supporting him my whole life. I'm afraid that he will be stuck in the same siutation 5 years from now and still be working part-time. Option 1 poses a problem because having a long-distance relationship is extremely hard. We have been doing a long-distance relationship for about 8 months now and I'm not sure how much longer I can bare. I'm not sure if I'm too dependent on him or not, but when he is around he makes me feel like a better person.

Any suggestions?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-13-2003
In reply to: igreen345
Sat, 02-07-2004 - 2:35pm
As hard as it will be, he should stay and finish his degree for the exact reasons you stated. I think you know in your heart, that if you two are to be together, you will have a much brighter future if he finishes this degree.

Best of luck.

Peace - Pebbles