Moving in before you're ready?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-23-2003
Moving in before you're ready?
6
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 2:24pm
Hi to all.

There is a burning question on my mind. What happens when you live with someone but you're not ready for that step? I'm in this situation right now I think...

~^-^~ Svetlana

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-13-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 2:45pm
If you feel you're not ready, then don't do it. Not much good comes out of intentionally taking a road that you know is not the best thing for you. It would be foolish of you to do something that you know you're not ready for....why would you? If he's the one for you, that will still be true down the road, after more time has passed. In a healthy relationship people don't pressure one another to do things they aren't ready for or comfortable with, and healthy people dont' make decisions that are wrong for them in fear of losing the other person if they don't. You didn't say that was the case, but I can't think of any other reason you'd even consider doing it if you know you're not ready. Good luck.
Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 2:49pm
The thing to think about is why are you going against what you know is best for you?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-28-2003
Mon, 01-12-2004 - 5:59pm
More bad than good, most likely. Why would you do that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 12:59am
I moved in with my boyfriend before I was ready and we ended up breaking up. Basically, I knew I wasn't ready when everything about him bothered me, when I really wished I had my own apartment to go to, and when I started resenting him for being tied down. We broke up for about three months, got back together, lived apart for six more months, then moved in together again. We are still together and pretty happy. I think a general rule is not to move in with someone unless you are seriously considering marriage.

Crystal

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2003
Tue, 01-13-2004 - 11:12am
You should have never allowed it to get that far. If you weren't ready to live together, then you should have expressed that when the subject came up. You should have been honest with your mate and said "hey, I am not ready for this for..." and then list your reasons.

At this point, you should still have a talk with your mate and explain to him that moving in is not what you want to do at this point - and then you make arranges to move out.

Good luck...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2004
Thu, 01-15-2004 - 11:23am
I moved in with my boyfriend after we had been together for over 2 years. We lived together for about 3 months and I knew that I wasn't ready. We talked about it and I decided to moved back home. That was about 6 months ago. I'm glad that I had the experience of living with him, I think that I got to know him better. We're still together and are currently looking for an apartment together. I don't regret living with him before I was ready because now I know that I'm ready and I can handle it. I know that everyone's different and what works for one person doesn't always work for the next. I am a firm believer in living with someone before marriage- you learn so much about them and yourself! I think that you ultimetly have to do what feels right for YOU!! If he loves you, he'll be there, no matter where you live.

Good luck!