is my bf emotionally challenged

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-19-2007
is my bf emotionally challenged
3
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:27pm
ok.. my bf and i have been together 3 years and he is great.. but he has an issue with my emotions.. he doesn't understand why i stress or get angry or cry?? he thinks that these things are not normal... and when i try to explain why i feel these things he always just tells me " i don't know what you want me to say".. so i really am having trouble connecting with him on a deeper level.. are there a such thing as emotionally challenged people? and if so is there any way that i can get through to him.. he kind of has this attitude like nothing ever bothers him.. which starts to bother me cause he can't even start to relate to me having different moods and doesn't take my mood into consideration when makes little remarks and stuff like that.. even if i think he's mad he'll just say " i'm not mad , so what is the problem?" .. i just don't know what to do.. i believe that he loves me .. but can you have a relationship without emotionss?? and is there anything i can do cause we can't afford to go to counseling and all that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 3:59pm

Welcome to the board scorpiocharma,


My co-cl recommends a book called The Five

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 4:43pm

Hi scorpiocharma and welcome to the board,


In addition to reading Five Love Languages (thanks Coltara) by Gary Chapman also consider reading Relationship Rescue by Dr Phil.


Are you always angry or explosive in your anger?

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 04-19-2007 - 6:37pm

Being in rapport with one another, feeling closeness and empathy are an important part of a relationship. If you don't feel understood, if he can't relate to what's going on with you, eventually you will feel isolated and misunderstood. It's important to learn how to communicate in such a way that both can step into one another's shoes.

Yes, there are individuals who are, as you say, emotionally challenged. They are out of touch with their own feelings and therefore cannot relate to someone else. This certainly is a hard person to be in a relationship with.

Stop and ask yourself what drew you to him in the first place? What created the bond you have now? What do you love about him? It seems to me that some soul searching on your part is in order now.

Best wishes,