my boyfriend and his ex.Kinda long... =)
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| Thu, 03-25-2004 - 2:21pm |
But I know that he does call her, like to say "hi" I guess?? I don't really know why.. I don't understand why he has to talk to her? He's said " I love you", to two girls, me and her. She was his "1st love" I guess you could say. It makes me feel insecure knowing that he calls her and she calls him. They live very close to each other ( about 20 minutes away from where I live), so he could stop over there and I wouldn't know about it... I do trust my boyfriend, just not with her. When my boyf goes out with his friends or the few friends that he has that are girls call him, I don't get worried or feel insecure. But with his ex it's different.
You see about 10 months into our relationship, my boyf told me that he still loved his ex, and he still had feelings for her. And before he told me that, he had been acting weird with me for almost a month, and I finally forced him to tell me what was going on. Then over the summmer on one of his days off from work, I didn't here from him all day, and when I asked him what he did, he said nothing. But then he told me the next day that he had been at his ex's house for a few hours. He said something about how she was really sick and the doctors dont know what's wrong with her. He broke up with me a little while after that. Then we got back together after only like 3 days. He said he couldn't live without me and he made a mistake and he had just needed some time away from me to think about things and make sure this was what he wanted. Then a little while after we got together, his ex called him and said she needed help cuz her car broke down so we went to help her, and there like 4 or 5 people there. I didn't really understand why we had to help her, and I was kinda pissed. My boyf knows how I feel about this girl, and I didn't understand why he would go help her and bring me along. He said it was so I would see that nothing is going on with them. Also might I add, she didnt look sick at all, and I have heard nothing else about her being sick since then...
I feel like I can't ask him to not speak with her because he has known her for a lot longer than he has known me and they were good friends when they weren't going out.. But it's like at the same time, I know for a fact that she used to call him and tell him how much she loved him and she wanted him back... I dont know if she still does.. I mean am I just being too insecure. Would it be reasonable to ask my boyf too break ties with someone that has been in his life for so long? Am I wrong for being upset about his contact with her? All his friends say he would never cheat on me. And I am very good friends with like all his friends and their girlfriends and I know they would not lie to me... So maybe I am just being silly? What do you think?

Im concerned as to why you are still with someone who shows clear disregard for your feelings.... I understand that you care for him, but you are settling to be someones second best. I can understand them maintaining a freindship, but he crossed the line several different times. Worst yet, you allowed him to. It is going to be difficult to, like you said, give him ultimatum as to if its going to be her or you.
On top of all of this, you are insecure about things from what happened afer the initial 10 months...You need to think if you are going to be able to handle being in this relationship. he has clearly hurt you, but you cant live in the past, or use this as ammunition for reasons why he could be cheating now.If this is the case, it is a clear sign you dont belong with this man.