my boyfriend and his "girlfriends"

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-22-2008
my boyfriend and his "girlfriends"
5
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 7:53pm
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. We've been living together since March. During the first month I moved in I found out he was getting dirty texts and picture messages from other girls. He swore he would stop and he did for a while. The girls would continue to text him but he wouldn't respond. Finally it got to a point where it became very annoying so in June he just decided to change his cell phone number to stop them from bothering him because he saw how much it was upsetting me. I just found out that not only did he change his number but he got a second line and a second phone to let these girls continue to talk to him. He ended up hiding this phone in his car. He says he never met with any of them and I know at least for a few of them that was true because they live half way across the country. However some live decently close. I love him and I know this is something that we can work on under the condition that he cuts the crap and gets rid of the other phone and all the phone numbers. I've asked him why he does it and he says he doesn't know. He doesn't know why he needs to have them around. He has said he loves me, wants to marry me, have kids. That I am the love of his life and that I am the only family that he has since he doesn't talk to his. He's also said that when he gets off the phone with those girls he appreciates having me around even more ( sounds like a load of crap to me but i dunno) Does Anyone have any idea WHY he could need them in his life? What is the method to his madness!!??
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 09-22-2008 - 8:50pm

Listen, he may TELL you all of the things you want to hear, but what he SHOWS you is that he wants to sneak around behind your back and get sexual attention from other women.

Will it really make you feel better about this to have to FORCE him to "cut the crap"? He'll just find another way around it again. After a year and a half he isn't satisfied only by you. What about in thirty years?

He has a problem with needing attention from other women, and he's obviously not going to give it up. He is a LOSER. You need to drop him fast or you will be inviting worse treatment than this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 12:16pm

Welcome to the board skippy428,


Maybe it is an addiction for him. Or he likes the excitement of doing something that he knows you don't want him to do.


I think the main thing is that he majorly lied to you and purposefully did this. I personally would never be able to trust him again.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 1:07pm

Welcome to the board skippy428,


::Does Anyone have any idea WHY he could need them in his life? What is the method to his madness!!??


Is there any reason you can think of that would put your mind at ease and make you think 'Oh, I see, ok, then all his (inappropriate) behavior with other women is ok with me?'

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2007
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 1:13pm

Hi -


I am married to a man who also craves constant attention from women. If you have time, I posted a discussion a couple of days ago under the title "Please Read - I need to know."


In

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Tue, 09-23-2008 - 2:30pm
If your bf has to be convinced to behave in a monogamous fashion then he is not the right guy for you.