My boyfriend broke up wiht me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2012
My boyfriend broke up wiht me.
4
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 11:13am

About five months ago I found that my boyfriend was receiving sexy pics on his phone from many different woman. Although he said he never physically cheated I took him back. I have been working on regaining my trust in him. But he says I am not doing it quick enough and he can't take it anymore and he broke up with me over the phone. I am so heartbroken because I really loved him and was trying to rebuild my trust in him. When he asked me to stay and work things out with him I did. Now he isn't willing to do the same because he says it hurts him when I don't trust him and he no longer feels comfortable hanging out with his female friends. He also says it hurts him really bad when I don't trust him. He says its not going to work because I took to long to rebuild my trust back in him. Help I still love him. I felt I did all I could do to regain my trust in him. Now he is acting like the reason we didn't work out was my fault. It has been very difficult for me to deal with because I thought we were going to be married.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 11:21am

What you don't understand, and I guess he doesn't either........is that HE has to rebuild your trust in him........not you.

If he's hanging out with his female friends, that is NOT how he shows you how trustworthy he is.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-18-2012
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 11:54am

Thank you so much for your great advice. It has been a very difficult time for me because I truly did love him. But if he loved me than he wouldn't have left.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 11:56am

I was going to say the same thing as fissatore--when someone does something wrong, they should be doing things to regain trust--there wasn't anything for you to do.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2009
Wed, 01-18-2012 - 12:31pm

fissatore is right. Trust isn't a gift you give to someone because you owe it to them. Trust is what happens naturally when your partner spends a long enough time earning it.

"Now he is acting like the reason we didn't work out was my fault."

It is my observation here, but I've seen this many times before. It is likely that he wanted to break up with you but has been looking for a way to make it your fault. You love him but that doesn't make him a great person. A guy who is getting pictures of many different women on his phone is not a great boyfriend, no matter what other good things he does.