My boyfriend the Child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2005
My boyfriend the Child.
2
Thu, 07-12-2007 - 8:34pm

Hello to all who happen to read this.

Let me tell you the story...

I am 32 and have been dating my 38 year old boyfriend for about 6 months now. We both agreed going into this relationship that neither one of us wants to get married or have kids, we just get along so well, until recently, and the sex is reaaally good...well, when I get it. Ok...he is a good boyfriend when we are alone and I know he wouldn't even fathom cheating on me cause he is waaay shy. We met through a circle of friends who are really tight. My problem is his guy friends. His two best friends are both single and we all get along...individually. When we all get together they make fun of us to no end and he won't say anything. And he refuses to show me any kind of attention during these times cause he knows he will get crap about it. I let him get away with murder in this relationship, mostly because I trust him, and I hate being around someone all the time. But, lately...he has just been so snippy with me. And we are both full of pride and stubborn and won't meet in the middle since I am right, hehe. Well, he told me today that he has some problems with our relationship that have been bothering him. And when I told him that if he has a problem then we need to not be together because I can't be any more understanding and accepting of his behavior...it's not even like we are even in a relationship, he told me he doesn't want to break up. I don't understand...his behavior and attitude are crying for freedom.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 5:27am

You say you don't understand what he wants. But I'm getting the impression that you cut him off when he wanted to discuss what he wants from the relationship.

You'll never understand him if you don't talk with him about how he feels.

Ask him...I'm sure he'll answer your questions.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 07-13-2007 - 8:47am

It's completely normal for everyone to have some 'problems" with a relationships, feelings about issues, needs or something that must be said and understood. If you want this relationship to continue, (or any relationship), it is very, very important for you to be willing to listen to him, let him talk to you, find out who he is and what is going on for him. Otherwise, this is just a fantasy situation. Does he know that you are accepting behavior from him that is hard for you accept as well? He needs to know this. The two of you need to be able to talk to and listen to one another. That is what a relationship is all about....when you listen, don't judge, scream or manipulate. Just listen. Try to find out what's going on...then together, if there is love and good will, you can find solutions that are good for all. This is how love gows. This is how you create happiness, balance and true support in your life and the life of others.


Best wishes,