My Boyfriend is in a cult

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
My Boyfriend is in a cult
11
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:06pm
My Boyfriend has recently joined a non-denominational church, before this church, he had no faith in God and was not raised under any religion.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:17pm

Welcome to the board fancyandfun,


Cult is a strong word.


Sounds like you are at the fork in the road.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-23-2005
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:38pm

I think your boyfriend may be going through some real "soul searching." If he is strong in his beliefs, and you are strong in yours, you may want to part ways. I would try counseling as an option so the person that is the mediator can point out things that either of you may not notice. How long do you want to live a life that you don't want to live? I know people make sacrifices, but if this has changed his life a great deal, you may want to re-evaluate what is going on. He obviously didn't think of you when he started going to this church. Did he know before he started going to church how you felt about being Catholic, etc? Has he ever gone to church with you?


Everything happens for a reason. Think to yourself "what is the worst that can happen in this situation?" I know you are thinking, "we would break up." But also remember that you have needs that have to be fufilled too. He isn't the only one in this relationship. There can only be so much bend before it breaks.


Religion can be very difficult. What made him change to this church? What was it that pulled him in to this particular church? I think that he is holding things back from you and you need more of an explaination of why.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 2:45pm
Welcome to the board feelinlowgal and thanks for participating.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 3:33pm

fancy, two people of different religious beliefs are only able to have a lasting relationship when they are flexible and not very attached to their respective religions. If you are unable to respect and embrace one another's beliefs then the relationship should end now before you waste too much time. The tough part is that his joining of a new church is so recent. Did you find it easier to accept him as an atheist?

A relationship should not make you ever compromise your beliefs or parts of you that make you who you are. If you find yourself making too many compromises in order to keep a calm sea between you, the relationship should end. I'm sorry this had to happen so suddenly, but it's really best that you two part ways if your religions are important to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-30-2008
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 3:42pm
It sounds like the two of you have grown very far apart.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 4:27pm

He is NOT in a cult.

131.gif image by y_baros th5K.gif image by jade_simo

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 4:56pm
I think you may be reading her sentence wrong; she said that she tried to be open-minded and try out the church before she passed judgment on it
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-17-2002
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 5:06pm

No, I don't necessarily think I am reading it wrong.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-21-2004
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 6:12pm

<< If they cannot accommodate each other, they are not right for each other. >>


EXACTLY!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Fri, 09-12-2008 - 6:49pm

OK, sorry - thought there might have been a misunderstanding, I think trying to give the church a chance was a open-minded of her at least. If it's not right for her that's perfectly fine, but I'm not sure if a denomination is a "cult" ("a religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader.") because she doesn't like it - at least she tried to learn something I guess?

I do agree with you though :) Two people should nurture one another's beliefs (or lack of belief, if applicable).




Edited 9/12/2008 6:50 pm ET by eggbertshootsfire

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