My boyfriend left me

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2004
My boyfriend left me
3
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 2:42am
Hi my name is Chubby.

I am really upset and depressed tonight. My boyfriend left me because he said he can't trust me. The reason he said he can't trust me is because I borrowed $40.00 from a friend and paid her back. The reason I borrowed this money was because we had none not even to eat. I put food in the refrigerator and gave him some so he can go to work. I went against my entire family because they were not able to accept my happiness with this man. My daughter harrassed him and threaten him over the phone so I filed a police report against her because she wouldn't stop. I am 38 years old and he is 45 years old. He goes through these uncontrollable rages. In this relationship I believed it was 50/50. He wants to say that he has supported me all this time. He got mad when I reminded him of the times I have set my money on the table to help him. Now that I have no money, not even to eat he claims I am a burden to him. I believe his anger is more to the fact that on Monday he was really sick, and there was an emergency and I had to tend to my grandson Nicholas who is 3 years old, and needed his grandmother. Now I have lost my family and he has abandoned me. He said he would be by tomorrow to pick up his belongings. I love him so much I can't bare to leave him go. Need advice, please help.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-07-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 4:00am
Chubby, it seems to me that you are in what people call a "toxic relationship". From what you've said, your boyfriend has done nothing but to hurt and humiliate you. And since your family (who I'm sure care about you) has abandoned you because of your boyfriend, I think that it's time you reevaluate your relationship with this man. And if he is leaving you, maybe he's doing you a favor after all. And you know what they say, "I you love him let him go. If he comes back, he's yours. If he doesn't, then he was never yours to begin with." I hope this helped.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 4:36am

hi chubby, i know you are very hurt and sad, and this is probably not what you want to hear, but i agree with siyar, this is NOT a healthy relationship. please re-read what you wrote, and ask your self objectively, what would YOU suggest to this poster.


there is too much anger, and rage, and sadness here. you are forced to give up your family (whom i hope have only your best interest) you are living in fear and poverty. why? you deserve better than that.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2004
Mon, 03-08-2004 - 9:18am
I'm sorry this is so short, but the solution is just so simple, though the hardest to follow through ever. I left a relationship of 6 yrs that was so bad for me, he was mean, a drinker, a cheater, and loved to embarass me, but it was the times he was loving that kept me going and look past all the overwhelmingly bad, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me when we broke up - though I didn't FEEL that way at the time. You just have to muster all the strength you have to break this addiction, which is almost what he's like to you because I understand. Your family are the only people where you are almost gaurenteed love and support in your lifetime, and they've left, this should be a sign to you. I agree with the other posters, you HAVE to move on for your well-being, dignity and happiness in the rest of your life.

 

Tiffany