my boyfriend left me for someone older

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2004
my boyfriend left me for someone older
2
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 12:20pm
my boyfriend left me for someone older than him we have been together for 2 years he has just told me he cares for me but doesn't love me i have tried to talk to him and stay with him but he just doesn't wont to be with me i love him and cant be without him he has slept with this other person but i dont care i just wont him back im so alone without him.

please help how can i make him realise and come back to me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 4:48pm
I am sorry that you are going through this and it is very painful but you can't make him come back to you. He is sleeping with someone else right now and may want to pursue another relationship with this other person. If he doesn't love you anymore and doesn't want to be with you anymore than why would you want him to stay with you? I understand that you love him but neither of you can be in a one sided relationship either. It is not healthy.

You can live without him. It will take some time but you will be OK. Call some of your girlfriends and go hang out with them to take your mind of your ex. Do you have any hobbies or interests that you would like you would like to pursue? It is hard to let go of someone who has been a part of your life for this long but considering that he has already moved on you need to do the same.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Sun, 08-08-2004 - 4:54pm
Sorry you have to go through this.

Please really think about this.... he's with someone else, you say you don't care you just want him back.... OK POOF, you got your wish, now what if (play along with me here) she won't let go, say she gets pregnant, now she's in your life forever, or how about STD's? Or better yet, how long after you settle back in with him, how long will it take before you question him really loving you, really being committed to you, how long will it be until you wonder if he'll leave again or if he's really happy?

You want him to feel the same way about you that you feel about him. But he doesn't. Even if you got him back, it wouldn't necessarily mean he feels the same way you do.

Push through the pain, grieve for what might have been, for what could have been, for what you hoped would have been. Cry, rage, grieve, etc. heal.

PS Remember, YOU are NOT LESS THAN because of his actions, choices, behavior or decisions.


Edited 8/8/2004 4:55 pm ET ET by itwinflame


Carrie