My boyfriend needs space...
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My boyfriend needs space...
| Tue, 05-11-2004 - 10:33am |
My boyfriend and father of my child left me, because he needed space and neede to figure out what he wants in life. I am confused and wonder why if you love someone you would leave them. He still wants visitation and wants to see our 5 year old. What I dont understand is why we can not work it out. I love him and he says he loves me, but he needs space to figure out what he wants.. What does this mean?

There is no way of knowing why he left at this time. It is however, possible to love someone and also need time and space to figure out what's going on in your own life. His relationship to his daughter is different than to you. It sounds like there have been issues going on for him that he has not recognized or been able or willing to communicate about to you. All good relationships need communication, so both parties know what's going on and how it can be handled. You can tell him that you would like to understand what happened and work things out. Suggest that you both see a counsellor together. If he doesn't want to do this, then there is nothing you can do. He has to be interested in sharing his process and working the relationship out. In the meantime it would be beneficial for you to get the help and support you need in dealing with this situation. You don't want to stay around indefinitely, waiting for him to make up his mind. (It could take years). Get yourself a good therapist and work on building your own life.
Best wishes.
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