My Boyfriend is TOO comfortable

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
My Boyfriend is TOO comfortable
6
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 12:46am
He's a great guy...except I think he is too comfortable in our relationship. He used to be soo sweet and say all these nice things and be kinda sensitive a bit and actually want to be with me a lot. Now...whenever I go over to his house all he wants to do is either SLEEP or mess around...and I don't wanna mess around because he just wants to skip the kissing and go straight to the good stuff. Even if he does kiss me its for a bit and then straight to the "good stuff" lol. I mean...somethin must be wrong iwth him, he likes to bite me, tickle me, and its annoying and I tell him to stop. THen he bites me again and it hurts....he's a bit too rough with me. Why can't he be normal like eveyr other boyfriend and gives me kisses on the cheek or give me big long hugs???? And whenever we're on the phone, I try talking but he's busy playing video games and talking to his friend or brother and I have to repeat what I say. He's either TOO Busy to talk or is too tired!!!!
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 11:43am

This sounds like an abusive relationship to me, where you are being used for sex. He is not being respectful to you or considering your wishes. There is a never a reason to be with anyone who is too rough, or who hurts you in anyway. Never. It sounds as though he is unwilling to give to you in anyway, not talking, no affection, etc. This relationship is degrading for you. The question is, why are you there? That's an important question. You need to really understand why you have stayed this long? Sometimes we remember when things were good and hang onto the memory, hoping things will come back to what they were. That's dangerous. It's important to see things for what they are now.


Build up your self esteem, get rid of this negative situation, and move forward with choices that are healthy, respectful and good for you.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 2:55pm

Welcome to the board hunnybunny,


Isn't it sad that some people don't understand the full value of foreplay?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 5:09pm
He doesn't sound too comfortable to be. He sounds inconsiderate. Let him know that this is bothering you and see if he is willing to change his behavior.
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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2004
Thu, 06-07-2007 - 7:46pm

I agree.

This isn't about being "comfortable". Rather it's about his lack of consideration for you. One can be extremely comfortable, secure and content but still have consideration for their partner.

Dress Up Games, Doll Makers and Cartoon Dolls @ The Doll Palace
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-2007
Fri, 06-08-2007 - 7:08am

You sound very young.. I am sorry to say this but the impression that I am getting from your post is that this man isn't really your boyfriend any longer, but a FWB - friend with benefits. How long have you been seeing him? It sounds to me as though he is sadly over the initial new r-ship stage where he was all sweet and loving, is now bored, doesn't really want to keep whatever you had going as far as the r-ship is concerned but keeps using you for sex and will do so for a while - until someone new comes along.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-30-2007
Tue, 06-12-2007 - 2:01am
We've never had sex...we've been together for 2 years. We don't "mess around" like make-out and all that stuff as much. How do you know that I am young? Yeah, I'm 18..not like 40 or w/e