My boyfriend's child's mother
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| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 4:48pm |
Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for about a year and I am 19 years old and he is 25, that in it self causes problems sometimes. Anyway my boyfriend dated this girl for three weeks before he met me and accidently got her pregnant. His baby is now 16 months old and his mother wants my boyfriend to be with her and she calls him all the time and does not talk about the baby and every time he picks the baby up or drops him off she says you can have your whole little family together if you would be with me. They didn't want to take things to court so she mainly decides when he can keep the baby so she's been dropping him off every thursday, friday and saturday night for the past 5 months. I am very young and I am starting to hate all this responsibility, I love my boyfriend very much and I have been with him through alot and I have been very calm and not said to much because if I say can we go out this weekend (which I rarely do) he says you know I can only see my son 3 days a week and the rest is with you, but since I have turned 18,(which was a year ago) me and him have only been out about 10 times and he does not like me to go out with my friends. I am so annoyed I don't know what to do. It's hard dealing with his baby's mom she is only 21 years old and I hate feeling so tied down, but I love him so I sacrifice alot to be with him and he does not understand that he thinks I'm just selfish and should not want to go out and do things because he is ready for marriage and he does not see why I am not if I love him. He is very stubborn and I think he is selfish. I dont know what to do or how to talk to him. I feel like maybe I am acting immature for being jealous of his childs mother and wanting to do more things, I dont know because I am young and I am in college and I dont know how to deal with all this family stuff.

1)You are dating a man with a child. He will always be his child and be in his life. So will his ex.
2) Do you blame this girl for wanting him in her life with her son?
3)'he does not like me to go out with my friends..... he thinks I'm just selfish and should not want to go out and do things'
It sounds like your boyfriend is controlling you. Do you really want to live like that?
4)'He is very stubborn and I think he is selfish'
2 more negative qualities in a boyfriend.
Don't sacrifice your happiness. You are so young and can make healthier choices in love and life.
I think you should concentrate on your education and your life. And on finding a better man that has more to offer you. The window for doing this is so short - you are in your prime now that you are in school. Don't waste it on him.
A relationship should be a win win proposition. Each side should feel like they got a great deal. He is getting a good deal with you but you are not getting one in return.
Back to the sea with this fish. Hurry!! Don't delay. You already have resentment so you are not that far off, anyway.